Mom… Carey Mulligan
Dad… Mikey Day
Lauren Holt
Janitor… Kenan Thompson
Principal… Aidy Bryant
[Starts with Mom and Dad at their son’s school concert. Their son is going to play guitar.]
Female voice: Life’s special moments are meant to be enjoyed. Not spend worrying about your irritable bowel syndrome.
[Mom feels pressure in her stomach]
Mom: [to Dad] I’ll be right back]
Dad: But Ryan’s solo is coming up.
[Mom runs to the toilet]
Female voice: It can strike at any time. Robbing you of life’s special moments. [Ryan looking at his sad being sad] But now, there’s help. [when Mom’s walking back to her seat, Lauren stops her and gives her a pack of pill] With Tremfalta. Tremfalta is a once daily pill that helps control your IBS syndrome. Instead of it controlling you. [Mom takes her seat and now her son is happily playing the guitar]. So you can enjoy more of life’s special moment.
Janitor: [yelling] Oh my god!
All: Shh!
Janitor: Who did this? It is everywhere. On the wall? Ugh!
Female voice: Tremfalta works by slowing your body’s digestive process decreasing the intensity and volatility of bowel movements so you can get back to what really matters.
[Janitor calls principal and shows the bathroom]
Principal: Oh!
Janitor: What did I tell you?
Female voice: Because some of life’s moments are too important to miss.
Principal: Stop the concert. Kids, I’m sorry. Someone has done something very, very bad in the bathroom. Something very disrespectful. [Lauren is shaking her head] Who did this filth?
Dad: [whispering to Mom] Didn’t you go–
Mom: [whispering] Shut the fuck up.
Female voice: Consult your doctor before use. Side effects may include–
Janitor: [yelling] Something is wrong with you, you sick son of a bitch.
Female voice: Side effects may–
Janitor: [yelling] You just lit up the toilet. You just lit the whole damn thing up.
Female voice: Side effects–
Janitor: I have kids! Damn!
Female voice: Never miss a special moment again.
[Mom hugs Lauren and whispers in her ears]
Mom: [whispering] If you say anything, I will destroy your life.
Lauren: What?
Mom: [looking at her family] Wait for mom.
Female voice: With Tremfalta.
Dad: I think we got a star on our hands.
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