Frankie… Kieran Culkin
Tracy Morgan[Starts with Bowen speaking on the phone in men’s room]
Bowen: Yeah, works fine. My coworkers better though. Hey, I gotta go. I just walked into the bathroom. I don’t know why I’m telling you either. Okay, bye.[Chris walks in]
Chris: Oh, there he is.
Bowen: Hey. We gotta stop meeting like this.
Chris: I say, man. Third time this week. What is this? Your new office?
Bowen: Oh, you know what I always say, boss man does the boss man does.[Everything goes dark and blue mood lights are on.]
Bowen to himself: I’ve never said that in my life. Why am I saying that? I’m not the boss. So, why did I laugh? Why did he laugh? Why are we not ourselves when we’re in the men’s room? Everyone just panics and blurt something out.[lights turn on] [Bowen flushes]
Bowen: Well, I’m empty. See you later my guy.
Chris: Keep on trucking, my dude.[Frankie walks in]
Frankie: Oh, love to party in here.
Chris: Ay, Frankie in the building. What’s up?
Frankie: Yeah, baby. Got any fun plans this weekend?
Chris: Oh, a couple days away from you. I’ll take it. Ha-ha-ha.[Everything goes dark and blue mood lights are on.]
Chris to himself: That was mean as hell. I really like that guy, man. And why am I talking so loud? In the men’s room my voice gets weird and I shout things like football is crazy.[only Frankie is speaking]
Frankie to himself: My heart is pounding. Why did I choose the urinal right next to him? Our arm’s skin is touching.[lights turn on]
Chris: Ha-ha-ha. Alright, man. See you on ice.
Frankie: Well, you too.[Everything goes dark and blue mood lights are on.]
Chris to himself: See you on ice? We work at a pension fund. Is that even an expression? I don’t know who I am in here.
Bowen to himself: I’ve been standing here for so long. None of the automatic sinks work. My hands are covered in soap.
Frankie to himself: I’m standing at a urinal but I only came in here to avoid working. Now, I feel like I can’t leave until they’ve heard me pee. Guess I’ll squirt my hand sanitizer in there to fake it.[lights turn on]
Bowen: Hey, sounds like your streams coming along really well over there.
Bowen to himself: Why am I commenting on his pee and calling it a stream?[Andrew walks in]
Andrew: Hey, what’s up my dudes?
Andrew: So, anyone got big plans for the summertime?
Bowen: Not yet.
Andrew to himself: Why would they? It’s November. We’re months away from the summertime.[lights turn on]
Andrew: New guy. Did anything fun last weekend?
Bowen: I’m sorry. Who? Me?
Bowen: Sorry. what did you say?
Andrew: I just asked you if you did anything fun last weekend?
Bowen: Oh, yeah, sure. Umm… Umm…
Bowen to himself: I’m taking way too long to answer. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear.[lights turn on]
Bowen: Oh, sorry. I can’t hear anything today. So, yeah.
Andrew: What’s up?
Bowen: Nothing sorry. Anyway, these sinks working for you?
Chris: No! But football is crazy.
Bowen: Crazy.[Alex walks in]
Alex: Uh-oh! Y’all having a little slumber party in here? Zagging your chains guys. And you see the new receptionist. She’s got legs for days.[Everything goes dark and blue mood lights are on.]
Alex to himself: I killed a man in 2012. I didn’t even do a good job hiding the body but I still got away with it. Although I’m a free man, the guilt I carry is worse than any cell. But in here, I forget who I am and what I’ve done. I love the men’s room.
Alex: Don’t you guys love it in here?[Tracy walks out of toilet cabin]
Tracy: Trust me, no one go in there. I had some pork meat last night and I dropped a bomb. [looks at Alex] And this dude killed my brother.