Alex: You’re a man.
Chris: Tough.
Kyle: Strong.
James: Rugged.
Chris: And you need underwear that’s the same.
Kyle: Not some designer junk that comes in a fancy little tube.
Alex: For my manly body, that ain’t gonna cut it. You might as well throw those underwear right in the trash.
Chris: And if you’re like me, you’re sick of throwing your underwear in trash.
Alex: Like, one time you make a little mistake, [doing squats] now you gotta throw your underwear in the trash again. What a rip off.
Kyle: Well, not anymore.
Female voice: Introducing Jake’s non-stick underwear for men. The only underwear that’s made with a high-tech ceramic coating you find in the world’s finest cook wear insuring maximum protection for you manly mistakes.
Chris: Coz you’re a man and you work hard for your money.
James: So, stop wasting it by putting your underwear in two plastic bags, tying it in a knot and throwing them in a very bottom of the bathroom trash every time you make a mistake.
Alex: With Jake’s non-stick underwear, my mistakes slide right off, right down my pant leg.
Kyle: And they’re easy to clean. Just wipe with a cloth or dry paper towel and they’re as good as new.
James: Now, the only thing you gotta worry about is putting those paper towels in two plastic bags along with your pants, sometimes your socks, tying them in a knot and tossing that out of your office window.
Alex: That’s way cheaper. So, no more itching in your board meetings.
Chris: No more hearing, “You know who make fun of your mistakes to her friends”.
Ego: [talking on phone] Girl, it was like somebody dragged this man in mud. Don’t make any sense. And he didn’t even notice.
Kyle: You shouldn’t have to buy a new underwear every time you get nervous at an important dinner.
Chris: Or you cough too hard.
Kyle: Or you got hit in the stomach.
James: Or your new protein powder doesn’t agree with you.
Alex: Or coz you had whiskey last night.
Chris: Or sometimes, nothing at all. It’s like you wipe real good for like, an hour. And nothing is on the paper. And then you go home, it’s a warsack test in the back of your pants.
Ego: [on the phone] He’s like a little boy.
Chris: I’m a man!
Female voice: Yes, you are. So, ask your doctor about Jake’s Non-stick prescription underwear for men.