Barn… Mikey Day
Ooli… Chloe Fineman
Ragnorok… Elon Musk
Frances McDormand… Kate McKinnon
Steve Buscemi… Pete Davidson
Bjork… Melissa Villaseñor[Starts with channel intro]
Male voice: You’re watching Iceland Public Television.[Cut to show intro]
Male voice: Pop culture. Bops. Celebrities. Games. Candy. It’s the “Ooli show”.[Cut to Barn]
Barn: And now, let meet host, Iceland’s number one social media star, Ooli.
Ooli: Hello and welcome to the Ooli show. Pretty cool. I’m Ooli and this is my side guy, Barn.
Barn: We got big show today, Ooli.
Ooli: So cool. Iceland’s number one comedy duo is here. Thobo and Graptor.[Cut to Ragnorok and Frances. They just groan.] [Cut back to Ooli]
Ooli: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Hilarious. So, you have a good weekend, Barn?
Barn: Yes. I visited my elf shrine, Ooli. I left a tiny sausage for them.
Ooli: Aw, so cute. You have to keep the elfs happy or they spill your shoes. Oh, I see my producer Ragnorok is trying to get my attention. What’s wrong? Did I mess something?
Ragnorok: You? Ha-ha-ha. Never. I just can’t hold it any longer, Ooli. I’m in love with you. Please, will you be my girlfriend?
Ooli: Aw, Ragnorok, you’re so silly. But no. Okay, time to say, “What’s up, y’all?”, to our big celebrity star, Frances McDormand.[Frances walks in. Barn, Ooli and Ragnorok are dancing]
Frances: Are you going to stop dancing or are we–? [They don’t stop] Okay.
Ooli: Yeah! [after dancing a while, Ooli and Barn take their seats] So, Frances, welcome to the ‘Ooli Show’. What’s bringing you to Iceland?
Frances: I’m here to buy more Gray Sack dresses. Ha-ha-ha. I’m out of Gray Sacks.
Ooli: Wow. Pretty cool.
Frances: So, what is this? People really watch this show?
Ooli: Yes. Well, I was just like this normal Icelandinc girl. But then tit popped out during Prince Phillip funeral. So, now they gave me show. Lucky, it was my good tit. So, tell me about your movie “Nomad Land”.
Frances: Well, you know, it’s a look at how the great recession impacted the American dream.
Ooli: Oh, wow. That sound boring. Okay, time for a quick hat. [Ooli wears a red hat] Is my hat funny?
Barn: [laughing alone] Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah! Frances?
Frances: Uh, yeah, sure.
Ooli: And now, a very quick word from our sponsor, Barn?
Barn: Well, the Ooli show is sponsored by “Cousin Checker” app. How many times have you found out too late that your lover is your cousin? In Iceland, it happens a lot. Cousin Checker tells you if you’re cousins before you get passed second base. Download now.
Ooli: Okay, Ragnorok, you keep waving your arms. Don’t ask me to be your girlfriend again.
Ragnorok: No, I promise.
Ooli: Okay good, go ahead.
Ragnorok: Be my girlfriend. I have a little bit of money but lots of goats and ponies.
Ooli: Okay. I love ponies. They’re very, very cute. But still, a hard no. Okay. Let’s bring out our next guest. Give a big hand to our American movie guest, Steve Buscemi.[Steve walks in. Barn and Ooli are dancing]
Frances: Yes. So, since he’s here, can I leave? Because I would love to leave.
Ooli: No way. You have to stay the whole time. So, Steve Cemi, you seem like a cool American guy like Bart Simpson. Bad boy Bart Simpson kind of guy, yes?
Barn: Yeah. Like, American kind of Scooby Doo kind of guy. Roller Coaster Pizza Pie guy.
Ooli: You have a new movie coming out?
Steve: No, I don’t.
Barn: Wow, so cool. Okay, Ragnorok, what now?
Ragnorok: Ooli, I think of all the good times we could have, eating fermented calk in the nude.
Ooli: Okay, Ragnorok, stop. Cousin Check told us we were cousins.
Ragnorok: Exactly. We have so much in common.
Ooli: Ha-ha. Awkward. Now, we have one more special surprise. It’s a little baby song. Please welcome Iceland’s most and only famous musician, BJork![Cut to BJork] [music playing]
BJork: This song is about tiny, tiny bird.[singing badly] Hi, little tiny bird
with a giant heart
Ooli: Wow. Beautiful. After the break, with more Steve and Frances.
Frances: Oh, I still can’t leave?
Ooli: No. No way. Stick around for more Ooli show. Bye bye.