Martin Herlihy[Starts with John looking at their group pictures.]
John: Dude, these look great.
Martin: Yeah, we should post that.[Ben walks in. His face looks really, really weird]
Ben: What’s up, my dudes?
John: Oh my god!
Martin: Oh no! What happened?
Ben: Oh sorry. I’m late. The bone by the subway. “Damn you see train.” How y’all doing?
John: No. Dude. your face. Did you get botox?
Ben: Oh, you guys can tell?
Ben: Yeah, just got a little touch up.
Martin: So, this was intentional? Not an accident?
Ben: Yeah, figured we’re gonna be on camera a little more. Might as well look my best.
Martin: Ben, you know I love you.
Ben: Love you too.
Martin: You look like you drowned.
John: I feel like I’m at your wake. You look embalmed.
Ben: I asked for the Chalamet. Is that coming through?
Ben: I like it man. I paid top dollar for this thing.
Martin: How much?
Ben: 150 bucks.
Martin: That’s not enough.
John: For full face botox?
Ben: That sucks. I wish there was an undo button for this thing.
John: Your face isn’t even moving when you laugh, dude. This is so bad.[while John is covering his face, his fingers look way too longer than usual]
Ben: I’m sorry. What did you do?
Martin: Oh my god.
Ben: What is with your fingers?
John: Oh yeah, I got some work done myself.
Martin: You got longer fingers?
John: Oh my God. We are not making this about my finger.
Ben: What? You extended them?
John: You know how many YouTube comments there were about how short they were before.
Martin: Well, now you look like the Babadook.
John: Wow, Martin. How about you go shhh.
Martin: Don’t touch my mouth.
Ben: You look like Pan’s Labyrinth.
John: Do I?
Ben: Do this. That’s Pan.
John: Oh yeah. Sure. Fine. But these fingers rock. I feel more confident. I play guitar easier. I can do cool stuff like, “West side”.
Ben: I got botox. I look good.
Martin: You know what? Should I get some work done on my face?
Ben: You don’t need it.
Martin: I know. I’m talking about my second face.[Martin pulls out his wig. There’s a second small face on his scalp.]
Ben: Ew. What is that?
Martin: I know, I know. He needs a nosejob.
John: No. What the hell is it? Does it talk?
Martin: He used to but then I think he died. Okay. This is so toxic. Can we all agree that we’re beautiful on the inside?
Ben: I guess so.
Martin’s second face: I agree.
Ben: Who said that?
Martin’s second face: It was me. You guys are beautiful.