Rami Malek[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, 1.[Rami Malek walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]
Rami Malek: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so excited to be here. My name is Rami Malek and I’m honored to be standing on this stage. You know, I’ve played a lot of dramatic roles in my career. Most recently, the new Bon villain. [cheers and applause] Thank you. But I don’t usually do comedy. Yes, I try to play these really intense characters which makes a lot of sense because people tell me I have what’s called a resting villain face. Like, this is my totally neutral. And I know most people would rather play the hero but weirdly, I’ve always been more drawn to villains. I sympathize with them, you know? In “Lion King”, I’m team Scar. I actually found Simba to be kind of annoying. You want to be king? You’re like, three years old. Relax! And in “Silence of the lambs”, I’m always like, “That poor Hannibal.” I mean, that lady just keeps coming in an asking him all these questions. It’s like, leave the guy alone, Clarice! I think a lot of the times villains are just misunderstood. For example, Jaw’s hungry, Dracula’s thirsty, Frankenstein is horny. I can keep going, Darth Vader is just trying to reconnect with his son. Freddie Kruger, encouraging kids to dream. But you know what? It’s nice to see villains finally getting some respect. I mean, Disney’s even made movies where the villain’s names are in the title, right? You got “Cruella”, “Malificent”, “Bambi”.
But look, honestly, I’m happy to play the villain. I’m so happy to be in movies. I never thought this would be my life. I’m a son of Egyptian immigrants and I had this kind of sheltered childhood. It was so sheltered, I grew up in the San Fernando valley in LA, but somehow I had no idea that I lived right next to Hollywood. Seriously, as a kid, I dreamed of going to the walk of fame, the sunset strip, and I truly thought that was a million miles away. And it was just a 10 minute drive. Well, it’s three hours with traffic.
But it was great. I loved growing up there with my family, my mom, my sister, my dad, and my twin brother. Yeah, I got a twin. And yes, he will be swapping places with me in one sketch tonight. And you’ll never know which one. It might even be right now. Nah, I’m kidding. It’s me, Rami. Or is it? No, it is.
But really, this is such a special night for me. Both of my siblings are here and I’m so proud of them. My brother’s a teacher. My sister’s an ER doctor. [cheers and applause] They are truly incredible people and they have devoted their lives to helping others. But I have an Oscar, so…[cheers and applause]
We’ve got a great show for you tonight. Young Thug is here. So, stick around, we’ll be right back.