Sarah Sherman[Bowen is just reading a book in his room. Simu comes in.]
Simu: Knock, knock.
Bowen: Simu, what’s up? My fellow, yellow, hello.
Bowen: Nothing. I’m just nervous I think. I mean, this has never happened before. Right? Asian male host. Asian male cast member.
Simu: I know. It’s like we’re the Spider Man meme.
Bowen: Except you have abs and I have ibs.
Bowen: IBS. Anyway, Congrats, man. I Mean, the first Asian Marvel lead. That’s huge.
Simu: Oh, thank you. I almost can’t wrap my head around it. I mean, you get it, right? Like, first fully Asian cast member on SNL? It’s amazing.
Bowen: Oh, yeah, thanks. I just think it’s weird that people keep track of this stuff, though.
Simu: Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, [showing a big medal] I just got this first Asian man who moved from Canada to America named SEMA.
Bowen: I have one that says Bowen.
Simu: No way. Yeah, I always just forget to take my hat off.[Andrew walks in]
Andrew: Hey, Bowen. I have an award for you. You are the first gay Asian cast member to mispronounce boutique.
Bowen: Is it not Bu-ti-kwa?
Andrew: No. Congrats.
Simu: Wow, Bowen, that’s so historic.
Andrew: And Simu, you were just named the first Asian man to deadpan on Splash Mountain.
Bowen: Wow, congratulations.
Bowen: But seriously, Sang Chi was so good.
Simu: Thank you. Yeah, I guess they’re saying I’m the first Asian man to blow up a dragon from the inside. [showing a championship belt like of wrestling.]
Bowen: I got the same one too. But it means something else.
Simu: Anyway, don’t you think these titles are kind of ridiculous?
Bowen: Totally. Like the state of Michigan gave me the “good job parentheses Asian award”. I do not care![Cut to Bowen giving his award speech happy and excited]
Bowen at award ceremony: To every Asian on the planet. I did this for you.
Simu: I know. First Asian man to beat StarCraft II. I didn’t even go to the ceremony.[Cut to Simu giving his award speech happy and excited]
Simu at award ceremony: Whoo! There’s no way this is true. But thank you so much.
Sarah: Hey. Mr. Asian Panera. These are for you. [passing the flowers to Simu]
Simu: Oh, my god. For me?
Bowen: What is Mr. Asian Panera?
Simu: Oh, I guess I was the first Asian that you pick to a Panera or something.[Cut to Simu when he was picked.]
Simu at the time: Yes! I did it! I did it!
Bowen: You know, it’s almost embarrassing. Like, I didn’t even tell anyone about being one of people’s sexiest man alive.
Bowen sobbing: Mom, I’m hot.
Simu: Weren’t you the first openly bottom guy on that list.
Bowen: I’m not open about that. Who told you that?
Simu: Sorry, I just guessed.
Bowen: Oh, nice. Good job.[Sarah walks in again]
Sarah: Hey, I have another award for first Asian man to do a share impression on NBC. But it doesn’t say who it’s for.[Bowen and Simu start doing the impression]
Sarah: Simu wins.
Bowen: Congratulations. Just remember Simu, whatever first thing you do, I’ll always be gay.