Alan Daniels… Kenan Thompson
Kenny Jaron… Jonathan Majors
Marla Winters… Aidy Bryant
Dave Timkens… Alex Moffat
Ramona Garrett… Heidi Gardner[Starts with channel intro]
Male voice: You’re watching the Sci Fi channel. Why?[Cut to the show intro]
Alan: Alright, welcome back to Strange Kid Tales. The show where parents tell us paranormal stories about their kids. I hate hosting this show. But a paycheck’s a paycheck. I’m Alan Daniels with me is my co host Kenny Jaron. You ready to do this?
Kenny: No. But we got to do it anyway.
Alan: Yep. Our first guest, Marla Winters and her son, Caden.
So what’s going on with this little boy?
Marla: Oh! Well, Caden’s always been so perceptive. And it’s like, he can see other worldly things that we can’t see.
Alan: What does that mean?
Marla: Oh, well, like the other day, we were walking by a cemetery.
Marla: And he starts waving at someone. Only there’s no one there.
Alan: Do not like it.
Marla: So, I say, “Who are you waving at?” And he says, “The man in the red jacket.”
Alan: The in the what now?
Marla: And the weird part is–
Alan: Oh, that wasn’t the weird part?
Marla: When I was tucking him in that night, he waved at the corner of his bedroom, and I said, “Who are you waving at now?” And he goes, “The man in the red jacket.” He followed us home.
Alan and Kenny: No. No, no, no, no.
Alan: Alright. Thank you for being here. But you gotta go. Alright. Let’s keep it moving.
Kenny: Do we have to?
Alan: All right. Our next guests are Dave Timkens and his six year old son, Max.[Dave Timkens and his son walk in]
No! Kid already looks creepy, he ain’t even said a word.
Kenny: There’s nothing behind his eyes. [The kid, Alan and Kenny stare at each other]
Alan: Alright. So why don’t you just tell me your kid’s tale, man?
Dave: Okay, so well. A few weeks ago, I was watching a World War II doc. They were showing footage of these fighter planes, and out of the blue Max turns to me and says, “When I was old, I flew a plane like that.”
Alan: When he was old? He said when he was old?
Alan: That is not a sentence I want coming out of a child’s mouth.
Dave: Yeah. So, in a past life, Max here was a World War II fighter pilot. Tell him which aircraft carrier you served on pal.
Max: The Natoma.
Kenny: He knows the name of the ship.
Alan: He knows the name of the ship.
Dave: Yeah, yeah, he does. Max has a really vivid memory of his plane getting shot down and going underwater. Tell him what happened next.
Max: I died.[Alan and Kenny jump out of their seats]
Alan: Oh, man! Come on! Come on. He said he died. And now he here? Take that demon child away from here. Man, I do not like this show. I don’t like these tales.
Kenny: I’m out. I quit.
Alan: You can’t quit. I need you. I can’t listen to the spooky stories by myself.
Kenny: Alright, back. Maybe the last kid won’t be as creepy.
Alan: Yeah, maybe.
Kenny: Okay. Let’s see. You good?
Alan: Yeah, I’m good. You good?
Alan: Alright. Man, let’s see. Last guests, Ramona Garrett and her daughter… Oh, hell. Coraline. Alright. So, what’s going on with this little Wednesday Adams?
Ramona: So, a few months ago Coraline started singing the song I’d never heard. I said, “Who taught you that?” She said, “The old lady who comes into my room at night.”
Ramona: She said, it’s her imaginary friend. But then we were looking through an old family photo album and there was a picture of her great grandmother who died 15 years ago. [Alan and Kenny are all teared up] And Coraline points to the photo and says, “That’s the woman who sings to me at night.”[Alan and Kenny jump out of their seats]
Alan: What do I always say? Hmm? Imaginary friends are ghosts. Alright. That’s it. This is our last show. We are done.
Ramona: Oh my gosh. We’re sorry to hear that. [looking at her daughter] Wait. Who are you staring at?
Coraline: [pointing behind Alan and Kenny] The man in the red jacket?[[Alan and Kenny slowly turns back. There’s a man in the red jacket. They run out.]