Michel Jordan… Keegan-Michael Key
John… Heidi Gardner
Dennis Rodman… Chris Redd
Phil Jackson… Alex Moffat
Charles Barkley… Kenan Thompson[Starts with Mikey speaking]
Mikey narrating: One year ago, my documentary about Michael Jordan’s final season with the Bulls “Last Dance” aired on ESPN. And even though it was 10 hours long, there was so much left on the cutting room floor. So tonight, I’d like to share an extended scene that I think really speaks wo what made Michael Jordan such a great competitor. Enjoy.[Cut to Micahel Jordan]
Micahel Jordan: Game five, Bulls/Suns, tipoff is in two hours. I’m playing quarters on the wall with my head of security John here. John, say hi.
John: Well, I’m ready for my close up.
Micahel Jordan: So, whoever gets this quarter closest to the wall wins. I’m going to take $5 off of him. Watch this.
John: Alright, we’ll see.[Micahel Jordan throws the coin]
Oh, how about I take that from you?[John throws the coin further than Micahel Jordan]
Micahel Jordan narrating: He won. I was happy for him. But he did that little shrug and I took that personally.
Micahel Jordan: Again.
John: Oh, okay. I think I got another five side on me.
Micahel Jordan: $1000 this time.
John: No, man. I don’t carry that kind of, what do the kids call it? Cheese.
Micahel Jordan: I spot you. I spot you.[John throws the coin]
John: Oh, no. That’s financially rough for me. My wife’s not going to like that.
Dennis Rodman narrating: See, with Michael, he had to win. That’s what made him great.
Phil Jackson narrating: I mean, he’s about to play for an NBA title and here he is taking little locker room game. Seriously, just amazing.
Micahel Jordan: Well, how much money you owe me now?
Micahel Jordan: Oh, that’s nothing. You can make that in a day.
John: I can’t.
Micahel Jordan: You can.[door knocks. Charles Barkley is peeking inside.]
Oh, there he is. The enemy. Charles Barkley.
Charles Barkley: What’s up? How are y’all doing? Oh, what you’re playing? Quarters to the wall? Man, I love that game. Let me play. What you playing: $5000 a throw?
John: Okay, well you two have fun.
Micahel Jordan: No, no. John, stay.
John: No, because I don’t make that kind of money.
Charles Barkley: Well, bet your pants then.
John: Not gonna look great if I lose my pants. But well… It’s a dream team.[Cut to Micahel Jordan holding John’s pants]
Micahel Jordan: Oh, look at these pleets.
Charles Barkley: That’s a sharp pleet.
John: Alright, come on. They wouldn’t even fit you, man. Come on. Let me win it back. I’ll get my pants. [throws the coin]
Dennis Rodman narrating: The thing about Michael is he didn’t just want to beat you. He wanted to dominate you.
Micahel Jordan: John, now you owe me a gun.
John: [pulls his gun out] This is loaded.
Dennis Rodman narrating: He wanted to embarrass you.
Micahel Jordan: What’s the bet? You said you’d show it.[John shows his penis. Everyone’s laughing.]
John: Maybe if I was seven feet tall, mine would look like your’s. Alright? But you know what? It’s a story I can tell the grand kids I showed Michael Jordan my [bleep]. Let’s go again.
Micahel Jordan narrating: If you’re not playing to win, why play?
Charles Barkley: You hustling me, MJ. [handing over a ton of money] But you know what? I’ma settle this on the ocurt.
Micahel Jordan: Shut up. I’ma whoop your ass, man. Hey, John, give me those glasses.
John: Oh, I really need it Mike. I’m security. I got to be able to see.
Micahel Jordan: A bet’s a bet.
John: You’re right. He’s right.
Dennis Rodman narrating: Never throw quarters with Jordan. I wouldn’t do it. I lost everything once.[John is throwing coin without being able to see.]
Micahel Jordan: One more time. Let’s go.
John: Man, I got nothing left.
Micahel Jordan: One night with your wife.
John: No, man. Alright, let’s go. Come on.
John speaking on the phone: Don’t be like that. It’s just one night. Hello? Okay. She hung up so it’s official. I’m in the dog house.
Micahel Jordan: Let’s go. One more.
John: Mike, I got to say no.
Micahel Jordan: If you win, I’m gonna give everything back. Your’e going to get your ring. You’re going to get your gun. You’re going to get your pants. Everything.
John: And what do you get?
Micahel Jordan: What do I get? Your hair.
John: You have a problem.
Micahel Jordan narrating: What can I say? I like to win.