Michael Che
Brandon… Kyle Mooney
[Starts with Michael Che in his set]
Michael Che: The phrase, “Let’s go Brandon”, a right wing euphemism for F Joe Biden has gone viral and can now be found on T shirts and lawn signs across the country. Here to comment on “Let’s go Brandon” phenomenon is a guy named Brandon.
Brandon: Hello. Yes, it’s me. Wow, this has been crazy, Mr. Che. Everyone’s talking about me. Little old Brandon. I just wanna say, CC fam. Thank you for your support. I love my Brand, Stans.
Michael Che: Brandon, maybe you didn’t hear what I just said.
Brandon: At first, I was like, “I don’t understand. Why all the hoopla about me?” I was pretty average guy living with my– Kinda like spider man, but without the superpowers. Right, Mr. Che?
Michael Che: Yeah, sure, sure.
Brandon: Yeah, normal guy. Don’t have tons of friends. Never have. Spent the last 49 bucks on a cameo from the Damn Daniel guys. They’re older now but still really funny. They refuse to say Damn Daniel, but just hearing those guys talk is amazing. Anyway, I was feeling kind of down. And that’s when all over the internet, people started cheering me on saying “Let’s go Brandon”.
Michael Che: Again. Brandon. I hate to tell you this–
Brandon: On the support was just the boost I needed to focus on my true passion. My famous cookie creations.
Michael Che: Cookie creation? What are cookie creations?
Brandon: Well, most cookies are round, right?
Michael Che: Yeah.
Brandon: My cookie creations are not round. For instance. Have you ever seen a square cookie, Mr. Che?
Michael Che: I have.
Brandon: Didn’t think so. Might be why people are talking about Brandon.
Michael Che: Look. No, wait. I hate to break it to you but “Let’s go Brandon” isn’t about you. It’s cold for F. Joe Biden.
Brandon: No.
Michael Che: Yes.
Brandon: Wouldn’t they just say F Joe Biden?
Michael Che: Right. This is their way of saying that without saying it.
Brandon: But they said Brandon. They said my name.
Michael Che: Yeah, it was kind of like their inside joke.
Brandon: So, I’m a joke? It’s a joke to be Brandon? Like when my uncle tweeted, “Let’s go Brandon”, he wasn’t talking about me?
Michael Che: No, man. He wasn’t.
Brandon: And when those random guys at the football game chanted “Let’s go Brandon”, they weren’t talking about me?
Michael Che: No.
Brandon: Is anyone talking about me?
Michael Che: I don’t think so.
Brandon: So, I’m a loser. I live with my aunt. And every time I pee, it shoots out in different– Like, I can’t get a single stream. It always splits.
Michael Che: Ay. I’m sorry. But maybe we can find a way to pump you up that doesn’t involve word Brandon. Like, what’s your last name?
Brandon: Bad Noodles.
Michael Che: Bad Noodles?
Brandon: It’s Dutch
Michael Che: Well, why don’t we get a “Let’s go Bad Noodles” chant going?
Brandon: Really? Let’s go Bad Noodles. [the audience start chanting] Yes! Everybody!
Michael Che: Brandon Bad Noodles, everybody.