Michael Che[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture lf Kelsey Grammer at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Kelsey Grammer announced that he will star in a revival of Frasier. For those of you too young to remember, Frasier was the show that made F.R.I.E.N.D.S. look black.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of an airplane at right top corner.]
Michael Che: An American Airlines pilot reported that during a flight over New Mexico, he saw a long cylinder object come close to his plane. “Sorry, that was just our engine”, said United.[Picture changes to a boat]
A sailor who fell overboard survived for 14 hours in a Pacific ocean by floating on a large piece of garbage. “Sorry, that was our other engine”, said United.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Disney’s Muppet Show logo at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Disney+ has placed a disclaimer in front of old episodes of the Muppet Show warning viewers that it features offensive content. I just want to ask, who’s about to watch Muppets, sees a warning about graphic content and doesn’t watch it? If anything, you’d be like, “I got to see this episode of the Muppets. Did Gonzo finally have sex with the chicken?”[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of coronavirus at right top corner.]
Michael Che: A new study shows that the coronavirus lowered the average life expectancy for black Americans by nearly three years. In fact the coronavirus is so deadly to black Americans, it’s being suspended with pay.[picture changes to Peter Luger logo]
New York City Steak House Peter Luger has partnered with Madame Tussauds to filling it’s dining room with wax figures of celebrities during the pandemic. So now, you can enjoy your steak with Jimmy Fallon, or have a dessert with Audrey Hepburn, or have a drink with, oh no, Bill Cosby?[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of map of Greece at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Researchers have discovered a piece of 20 million year old petrified wood on the Greek island of Lesbos. They knew it was from Lesbos because it’s double ended.
You’re not gonna like this. The chief of the Cherokee Nation is calling on car maker Jeep to stop using the tribe’s names on it’s vehicles. So, Jeep has agreed to change the name to, wow, the Aunt Jemima mobile.