Weekend Update NBA Vaccinations Disney World Turns 50

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Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of NBA logo and coronavirus vaccine with headline ‘Unvaccinated players not paid for missing games’ at right top corner.]

Michael Che: The NBA announced that unvaccinated players will not be paid for any games missed due to local vaccine mandates. But that won’t matter. NBA players have a long proud history of losing money because they refuse to use protection.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Caduceus at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: [laughing] Glad I didn’t tell that joke. A new study finds that young adults with depression have a higher risk of dementia later in life. Which explains Billy Eilish’s upcoming album, “Where am I?”

[Picture changes to a bucket of paint and a brush]

Purdue University researchers have created the whitest paint on record. The paint is so white, I am his favorite part of SNL.

[audience laughing] [Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of eggs at right top corner.]

Michael Che: A group of online SLUS are trying to track down individual who has been pelting Chicago residents with raw eggs. So, good news, Chicago may finally be running out of bullets.

[Picture changes to Walt Disney World castle]

This year marks the fifth year anniversary of Disney World. To celebrate turning 50, Disney has opened a new ride ‘Mr. Goofy’s Wild Colonoscopy’.

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