Colin Jost
Sarah Sherman
[Starts with Colin Jost at his set]Speaker Colin Jost: Well guys, we are six shows into our new season. Here to tell us how it’s going is one of our new cast members, Sarah Sherman.
[Sarah Sherman slides in] [cheers and applause]Speaker Sarah Sherman: Hey, Colin.
Speaker Colin Jost: Hey, Sarah. So, how’s your time with the show been so far?
Speaker Sarah Sherman: What’s not to love? Laughing, comedy, New York City. But I’m not gonna lie, dude. I’ve got some feedback.
Speaker Colin Jost: You got feedback already?
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Yeah. And I got a lot of questions about this show. First off, why is it live?
Speaker Colin Jost: Well, the name is show Saturday Night Live.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Don’t you think that’s a little scary, Colin? I could say something right now that could ruin my life and yours.
Speaker Colin Jost: Well, please don’t.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: I kind of want to I’m crazy.
Speaker Colin Jost: Don’t though.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Anything could happen. I can have a nip slip right now.
Speaker Colin Jost: Sarah, you’re buttoned up to your neck.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: You don’t where my nipples are.
Speaker Colin Jost: Okay, like I feel like I know where most people’s nipples are.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Hah, do you?
[There’s a picture of an article that says “Local pervert Colin Jost claims he’s seen most people’s nipples” at left top corner.]This just pervert Collin Jost claims he seen most people’s nipples. Now, back to you, Colin.
Speaker Colin Jost: That’s not what I meant.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: And another thing. Why is the show on so late? It’s not even Saturday anymore. It’s Sunday. You people are being lied to.
Speaker Colin Jost: Okay. Alright. Well, the show starts on Saturday.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Wow.
[There’s a picture of an article that says “Self proclaimed nipple expert Colin Jost caught mansplaining live on TV” at left top corner.] Wow. In other news, self proclaimed nipple expert mansplaining live on television. Now back to you, Colin.Speaker Colin Jost: Where are you getting these graphics?
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Please stop interrupting me. And another thing. Why is everyone on the cast so freaking good looking? I’m sitting here looking like Chucky went to Saint Lawrence.
Speaker Colin Jost: Come on. No, no.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Oh, so you’re saying I’m beautiful? What are you obsessed with me or something?
[There’s a picture of an article that says “Local sicko Colin Jost caught hitting on SNL’s barely legal new girl” at left top corner.]Breaking news, local sicko Colin Jost caught hitting on SNL’s barely legal new girl.
Speaker Colin Jost: Barely Legal? You’re like, 30.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: And another thing. Why aren’t there any Jews on this show?
Speaker Colin Jost: There are a lot of Jewish people on the show including you.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Wow. Okay, I’m gonna do it.
Speaker Colin Jost: Don’t do it.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: I’m gonna.
[There’s a picture of an article that says “Local wet blanket Colin Jost is keeping track of the amount of Jews at SNL” at left top corner.]In other news, local wet blanket Colin Jost is keeping track of the amount of Jews at SNL. He’s making a list and he’s checking it twice. More on that at 11.
Speaker Colin Jost: It’s way past 11.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: And another thing. Why are you guys dressed like that? I mean, nice jacket, Collin. Where’d you get that? The friggin store?
Speaker Colin Jost: I mean, yeah, I got it a store. Yeah.
Michael Che: [laughing hard] She got you, man. You suck. Oh. That’s such a beating.
Speaker Sarah Sherman: Thanks, Michael.
[There’s a picture of an article that says “Noted white feminist Michael Che protects innocent Jweish girl from gorgeous facist Colin Jost” at left top corner.] Noted white feminist Michael Che protects innocent Jweish girl from gorgeous facist Colin Jost.Speaker Colin Jost: Sarah Sherman, everyone.