Aerotoilet

Terry… Kate McKinnon

Oscar Isaac

Kyle Mooney

[Starts with Terry and Oscar talking in their family reunion. There are many people enjoying there.]

Terry: Our family reunion is a hit! We haven’t had this many people in the house in two years.

Oscar: I know. But I’m honestly a little worried about all these people using our bathroom. Can the septic handle it?

Terry: Don’t worry. We’ve got AeroToilet.

Oscar: Aero what?

Terry: [showing the product] From the makers of AeroBed, now there’s AeroToilet, the inflatable guest toilet you can really go to the bathroom in.

Oscar: Huh!

Terry: In seconds, it’s fully inflated and ready to use. And voilà your home office becomes our new guest bathroom.

Oscar: Wow! That’s amazing.

Terry: Go ahead. Give it a try.

[Oscar opens his pants and sits on the toilet]

Oscar: Oh, boy! Whoa! Whoa!Is this supposed to wobble like this?

Terry: Just adjust the firmness with that little toggle there.

Oscar: Oh.

[He adjusts]

[Air hisses]

Terry: Better?

Oscar: Much. I mean, I’m using this exactly the way I’d use a regular ceramic toilet.

Terry: That’s the whole point.

Oscar: I mean, I can really do it all.

Terry: And more. And AeroToilet goes anywhere. And it’s so affordable, you’ll want one for every corner of your house. And since there’s no plumbing, there’s no place AeroToilet can’t go.

Kyle: Okay, that’s awesome.

Terry: Not near an outlet? Just inflate manually using the convenient mouth tube.

[Terry is blowing the AeroToilet by herself]

Oscar: Ooh, careful not to suck.

Terry: Good thinking.

Kyle: Great party, Terry.  And I love the house. What is it, a three bedroom, nine bath?

[Both laugh]

[Kyle starts peeing in front of Terry]

Terry: There’s even inflatable toilet paper and an inflatable magazine, if you get bored.

Oscar: Who is ready for another hot dog?

Bowen: Right after this game. [he is sitting on a toilet while playing the game] Oh, yes!

Terry: Oh, wow. Looks like it’s getting pretty full.

Melissa: Now what?

Oscar: Well, when it’s time for the guests to leave, all you do is open this handy valve–

Terry:  John! Not in here! There’s no plumbing!

Oscar: Oh, my God! It’s going everywhere!

Melissa: Everybody run!

Kyle: Oh my god.

Male voice: AeroToilet, from the makers of AeroBed. Not safe for pool use.

Melissa: [pooping in the living room] Occupied.