Angelo… Aristotle Athari
Bride… Cecily Strong
Groom… Alex Moffat
Meg… Sarah Sherman
Jake… Jerrod Carmichael
Announcer: Next up, we have a special treat, as a gift from the bride’s parents, they have booked her favorite artist, I can’t believeI get to say this. Ladies and gentlemen, international singing sensation, Angelo.
Angelo: Hello, everybody. Happy wedding. For all days.
Bride: Yes! Oh, my God, Angelo! He’s actually here!
Groom: Wait, what is this? Who’s Angelo?
Bride: He’s just my all time favorite. Angelo does covers of, like, any song you want and re-imagines it in the most beautiful and honestly enlightening way. Okay, shh. No, he’s starting.
Angelo: Love for this today in air. Always. Can I get one suggest?
Bride: Stevie, give him a song to play.
Groom: What? Oh, sweet. OK, uh, how about “Brown-Eyed Girl?”
Angelo: ♪S-Say, say it for me?
Groom: Yeah, uh, Brown-Eyed Girl.
Angelo: S-say it for me?
Groom: Brown-Eyed Girl.
Angelo: Brow for Ba-fa-ra-bas [gibberish].
Then I don’t like that
If I ever see it like this for me
Tonight
Thank you for this.
Bride: I mean… Okay, can you believe that? Angelo, bringing the house down at my wedding.
Groom: Oh, yeah. That didn’t sound like “Brown-Eyed Girl” though.
Bride: OK, oh, good one, sweetheart.
Angelo: I — Water for this — [clears throat]
Groom: Who is that?
Bride: What? That’s his assistant, Meg. She’s a billionaire.
Angelo: Another song for this to play.
Bride: Yes! Come on, Steve, do it, sweetheart. Let’s do something fun.
Groom: Okay, um, I guess Prince. Let’s do “1999”.
Angelo: Say for me?
Groom: Come on, man. “1999.”
Angelo: “2002.”
[Melodic gibberish]
If I ever see that for me, like this
tonight
Thank you for this.
Bride: Oh, my God. God. Even, like, most people won’t even attempt to do a Prince cover.
Groom: Yeah, I’m not sure he did.
Angelo: Now because love and special for tonight, I bring drum here.
Bride: No! Oh, my God, no — no way!
Groom: What? Who is that?
Bride: That’s Jake, the Pride of Ghana. He’s what vulture called “why the world fell in love with drums again.”
Groom: Jake? Why do they have such boring names.
Bride: Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask them, Steve?
Jake: For drums, I need song.
Angelo: For party, one suggest.
Groom: What is happening?
Bride: I’m sorry, do you even hear yourself? I’m sorry they’re not Bon Jovi, you ignorant himbo.
Groom: Himbo?! Okay. I’ll give them a song to play. “At Last.”
Angelo and Jake: S-Say for us?
“At Last.”
Angelo and Jake: [gibberish]
Angelo: Drums for this.
Jake: Come on, now! [Hits the drum randomly]
Angelo: Thank you for this.
Groom: No, no, no, two drum hits? Bum-bum? Why is that good?
Bride: Bum-bum. Bum-bum, moron! It’s a heartbeat. The heartbeat of the people of Ghana.
Bride: What?
Jake: Another song for one.
Angelo: Yes. Do it for this.
Groom: Okay, you know what? I’ve obviously ruined everything, so let me try to make it up to you, okay, babe? Uh, it’s the song that we heard the night that we met. How about “I Got a Feeling?”
Jake: “I Got a Feeling.”
Angelo: Black-Eyed Pea-Pea.
Groom: Whoa, alright.
Angelo: [singing] I got a feeling
Jake: Come on, now! [Hits the drum randomly]
Angelo: That toniiiiight’s gonna be a good night
Jake: Come on, now! [Hits the drum randomly]
Angelo: That toniiiiight’s gonna be a good night
Jake: Come on, now! [Hits the drum randomly]
Angelo: Toooooooonight
Jake: Thank you for this.
Angelo: Thank you for this.
Groom: Wow. Alright, that’s incredible. I get it now. I get it! Yeah.