[Starts with a commercial]

Male voice: It’s back. The Arby’s 5 for 10. That’s right. You get five Arby’s roast beef sandwiches for only $10. That’s five stacked juicy roast beef sandwiches for just 10 bucks. What do you have to say about that?

Cecily: I guess all I have to say is how?

Bowen: Yeah, that just seems like a lot of roast beef sandwiches for $10.

Male voice: It’s five heaping piles of tender roast beef for only 10 measly dollars. Can you even believe it?

Keke: Honestly, no.

Mikey: We’re struggling to understand the physics of how this much roast beef is $10.

Keke: Because isn’t one roast beef sandwich normally at least $5?

Male voice: Ha-ha-ha. A bet you never thought $10 to get you five mountains of roast beef.

Cecily: That’s exactly what we’re saying. We don’t think it’s possible.

Bowen: I just Googled roast beef prices at the grocery store and it sells for $11 a pound. But you’re saying…

Male voice: We’re giving you pound after pound of roast beef for just $10.

Keke: Yes. See, that’s what’s throwing us off, because it roast beef is $11 a pound. I mean, I know bread super cheap, but it’s not negative dollars.

Mikey: Arby’s is a for profit business, right? Like your goal is to make money? Because I couldn’t make five roast beef sandwiches at home for $10.

Keke: I don’t think I could make five roast beef sandwiches for less than $30.

Mikey: So I guess we’re wondering Where are you getting all this roast beef?

Male voice: Arby’s we have the meats!

Keke: No, no, no, no. That don’t answer the question. We know you have the meats. But where are you getting the meats?

Mikey: Also what kind of meats?

Male voice: And over at Taco Bell, don’t miss the new $5 box.

Mikey: Wait what?

Male voice: You get a chalupa supreme, a beefy five layer burrito, cinnamon twists, nacho cheese and chips and the 20 ounce soda for only $5.

Cecily: Oh my God. Is that real?

Male voice: Look it up. It’s the $5 box, only at Taco Bell?

Bowen: Okay, I don’t like that you change the subject to Taco Bell. But now I’m worried about this $5 box too.

Keke: You get multiple burritos, and cinnamon twists, and chips and nacho cheese and giant soda for $5?

Mikey: How can that physically happen? I mean each full burrito is like 70 cents.

Male voice: So Arby’s is looking pretty good by comparison, right?

Cecily: No. This all sounds horrible. Yeah, I thought the four for four menu at Wendy’s was insane.

[Kenan jumps out]

Kenan: Oh, what’s that?

Cecily: That’s a full cheeseburger and order of chicken tenders, fries and a soda for $4.

Kenan: Sounds suspicious.

Bowen: Hold on. Ving Rames? You do the voiceover in the store?

Kenan: That’s right. I’m physically present at every Arby’s location. Arby’s, we have the rains.

Cecily: Sir, and you think the Wendy’s deal sounds suspicious?

Bowen: You’re the ones offering five giant…

Kenan: Towers.

Bowen: Of roast beef for $10.

Mikey: How many sandwiches do you get from one cow?

Kenan: Oh, I don’t know. A million.

Keke: We’d honestly rather to pay more and get less roast beef. Then we would be so worried about where it’s coming from.

Kenan: Okay, so how much? How much?

Bowen: I don’t know. I guess to roast beef sandwiches for $12?

Cecily: I think three for 15.

Bowen: You’re gonna eat three roast beef sandwiches?

Cecily: Hey! [slaps Bowen] Do not shame me. Not in my debut Arby’s commercial.

Male voice: Arby’s new three for 15. You’ll pay a little more, but at least you’ll understand how it could physically be possible.

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