Cecily Strong
Kenan Thompson
Bowen Yang
Sarah Sherman
Ego Nwodim
Mikey Day
Cecily: I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas.
Kenan: Is it already?
Bowen: Yeah, that’s right. Mariah Carey saw her shadow. That means two more weeks till Christmas.
Cecily: Oh, yes. What a year it’s been.
Kenan: What a three years.
Bowen: I know. I’m still signing my checks 2019.
Cecily: Well, I’m more concerned that you’re still writing checks.
Bowen: You know what I mean. I mean, the whole world is just so overwhelming sometimes. War, climate change, Prince Harry Megan Markel documentary.
Cecily: You’re right. It’s hard not to feel helpless. I think I should be doing more for myself or friends, for society. But then I remember.
and all of my stress fades away
all the problems and issues
and crying and tissues
can wait until January
Kenan: You just give your concerns a delay?
Cecily: Till Christmas
Bowen: Oh, you mean block it all out? Bury your feelings deep inside where they can’t hurt you?
Cecily: Yes, exactly.
Kenan: Like…
it’s starting to get out of hand
I knew that it may have crossed
into a dark place
when Burger King said I was banned
But maybe I’ll just make that my brand.
Till Christmas.
Cecily: You see, you’re getting it. What about you?
Bowen: Oh, I don’t know. Let me try.
my mental health hasn’t been great
I wake up at noon and the sun somehow setting
than I fall back asleep around eight
But I can live in the delusional states
All: For Chrismas
Sarah: Hey, we heard you guys singing about ignoring your anxiety in an unhealthy way.
Ego: You don’t mind if we join you and do a little ooze in the background?
Cecily: Sure. And you know we can complain about specific people too. Like…
Why does he own all this stuff
Why does he have to run Tesla and Twitter
was outerspace not enough?
Bowen: And Hitler.
Since when did Hitler come back?
Didn’t we basically all agree years ago
Hitler should never come back
Kenan: And why are all his new fans black?
All: For Christmas.
Let’s block it all out for Chriastmas
Kenan: There’s sober October and no nut November
so let’s introduce no remember December
Cecily: Family visits and you just want to hide
that’s why I drink eggnog with the Xanax inside
Ego: For Easter and who thinks whose lifestyles wrong
Sarah: Forget your uncle who hurt you way too long
Bowen: Your grandma will whisper your living in sin
Cecily: So just TikTok on the toilet till your ass falls in
Kenan: You’re worrying too much when you’re giving gifts
it’s easy here to buy a gun than tickets to Taylor Swift
Ego: Stop obsessing about every decision from Scotis
or the mental well being of our current protest
All: Just focus on who’s gonna die on White Lotus.
Because it’s Christmas.
Devon: Hey, did somebody order a Grub Hub?
Cecily: Oh, my dinner’s here. I got Italian.
Devon: Yes, that’s one order a garlic bread and 12 bottles of wine.
Cecily: Yes, that’s right. You can leave the wine over there.
Devon: Okay, and did you want the garlic bread?
Cecily: I think you know I don’t.
Kenan: Wow. I feel like all our holiday worries have gone away.
Bowen: Me too. Except for a few things, just off the top of my head.
Schools are failing kids don’t know Jack
Coleman never left and also it’s bad
Cable News is awful but I can put it
R Kelly dropped an album called ‘I admit it’
So I really want to shout
but I’m blocking everything out
for Christmas
All: For Christmas.
Sarah: Okay. So you bury all all your feelings for Christmas, okay? But what happens in January?
Cecily: Oh, then…
We explode
we freak out and threaten our ex
we drink to the point
where we contemplate murderer
and accept Venmo payments for sex
but that’s just what happens next
because for now is it’s Christmas
Santa Clause: Ho-ho-ho-ho. And live from New York… Wait did you say Venmo payments for sex?
Cecily: It’s Saturday night!