Chain Gang

Tommy… Benedict Cumberbatch

Warden… Alex Moffat

Lenny… Kyle Mooney

Mary… Heidi Gardner

Chris: Lord, it’s hot.

Kenan: Georgia July is hotter than a blister bug in a pepper patch.

James: And don’t the warden know it?

Warden: Alright boys, back to work now. These rocks, they ain’t gonna break themselves. And get happy now. I want to see some smiles.

Chris: I was born on a farm on a moonless night
mama never taught me wrong from right
now I’m doing time in Georgia

All: Now I’m doing time in Georgia 

Chris: Long time in Georgia

All: Long time in Georgia

Chris: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free

All: Lord sets me free, yeah.

James: Now the good book said be a righteous man
but the devil pulled me down and away we ran
So they locked me up in town

All: Locked me up in town

James: Working for the county

All: Working for the county

James: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free

Take it Tommy.

Tommy: If you see something bad, you know I’m gonna tell
that’s why they put me in a better prison cell
because I snitch to the warden

All: Snitch to the warden

Tommy: Snitching to the warden

All: Snitching to the warden

Tommy: Oh, lord, prison’s not so bad.

James: Wait, Tom, did you just say you were snitching to the warden?

Tommy: Yeah, that’s the way the old prison song goes.

Kenan: Nope.

Chris: You getting special treatment here, Tom?

Tommy: No, just singing to pass the time. Whoo-wee, it’s hot. [pulls out a fancy drink]

Chris: Where did you get that fancy drink?

Tommy: You fellas didn’t get one?

Kenan: I did not.

James: Hey, what’s going on?

Chris: Oh, hell, they caught Lenny!

Warden: Well, well, well. Look who we found hiding in the storm drain down by the highway.

Lenny: But it’s impossible. How did you find me?

Mikey: Let’s just say a little birdie told us your plan. On an unrelated note. Tom, here is a cherry pie.

Tommy: Cherry pie? Mmm-mmm.

Warden: And as for you, Lenny, you know what we do with escapees. But them in the box!

Lenny: No. No, no.

Kenan: You animals. You lousy animals.

James: He’s a good man. Don’t put him in the box.

Tommy: Okay, just put them in the box for a couple of days. You guys know best.

Warden:  All right, show’s over now boys. Now, unless you got a pie in your hands, get back to work.

Kenan: When I dream at night, that’s the only time I’m free
I wake up every morning in a penitentiary
Now I’m doing 10 to 20

All: Doing 10 to 20.

Kenan: Working for the county

All: Working for the county

Kenan: I’ll be in chains till the good lord sets me free

All: Lord sets me free

Tommy: If you tell me a secret I’ll pass them along
You’ll be in the box while I’m singing this song
made a deal with the warden

All: Deal with the warden

Tommy: I’ll tell him all your secrets

All: Tell him all your secrets

Tommy: Every time I snitch they bring me a big cherry pie

Kenan: Shh, here comes the warden’s wife.

James: Ma’am.

Kenan: Ma’am.

Chris: Ma’am.

Tommy: Ma’am.

Warden: Wow, if it isn’t my lovely wife, Mary. What do you do in here woman?

Mary: Oh, I was just passing by my way into town. Figured I take a gander at all these bad, bad boys. This one looks especially naughty. Are you naughty boy?

Tommy: Yes ma’am. Very naughty ma’am.

Mary: Looks like you missed a bit of cherry pie.

Tommy: Thank you kindly. It’s not like me to waste a good bit of cherry pie.

Chris: What the hell?

Warden: Alright, Mary. I know you got some shopping to do.

Mary: Bye boys. See you later.

Warden: Well, that’s enough yapping for one day. Back to work all of you.

Tommy: Now, I can’t complain about my life
I get to sleep with the warden’s wife

sleeping with the warden’s wife

All: Sleeping with the warden’s wife

Tommy: Sleeping with his pretty wife

All: Sleeping with his pretty wife

Warden: He watches from the closet smiling in the dark

Mikey: Warden, I do believe Tom is sleeping with your wife.

Warden: Yeah, I know. I can’t please her myself. Best to let her be happy.

All: Let her be happy, let her be happy
Let her be happy, let her be happy