Chuck E Cheese

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Chloe Fineman

Mikey Day

Alex Moffat

Bowen Yang

Benedict Cumberbatch

Julie… Melissa Villaseñor

Mr. Munch… Kenan Thompson

Katie Carrot… Katie Carrot Strong

Pascuale the pizza chef… Aristotle Athari

[Starts Chloe getting a table in Chuck E. cheese’s]

Chloe: Come on, buddy, let’s grab our seats.

Mikey: Alright. I think the show is starting.

Alex: Hey, everybody, I know you came to see Chuck E. and his pals but we have some technical problems. And Chuck E. and the Pizza Time band are not running right now.

Chloe: Aw, that’s why we came.

Alex: Yeah, I know. I know. I’m sorry about that. But the show must go on.Good. Okay. And great news,  I reached out on Twitter to my favorite British band from 1983 and they were available. So please welcome Reflection Denied.

[Ben and Bowen walk to the stage]

Ben: Amongst the basil and the Pomodoro, did I experience my reverie? Here at Chuck E. Cheese, existing in the liminal space between them all and the highway. Before the big bang that was pizza?

[music playing]

Bowen: Greetings children and children of the mind. We are Reflection Denied but today I’m a vessel for the eponymous rodent, Charles Entertainment cheese.

Ben: And I for Fantasy Giles. Join us on a soundscape of pizza…

Bowen: Game…

Ben: And soulful longing.

Bowen: [singing] I reached self concept at the pizza plex.
I forgot my taste and smell

Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce

Bowen: She bowling while I’m ski falling
you read my mind so well

Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me

Mikey: This is fun, right, bud?

Chloe: Is this for kids?

Mikey: I think it’s for him.

[Alex is dancing hard with no care]

Bowen: I cried alone in the bowl pit
Oh father, where are you?

Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce

Bowen: Mr. Pender out of Dr. Pepper
Why today have bow

Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me

Bowen: If you’d like to book us for future gigs or tip us in Dippin Dots, please see Julie.

Chloe: Who is Julie?

Mikey: I’m guessing she is.

Ben and Bowen: Tokens for tickets, tickets for prizes
parents paying for dreams.
Win and old yoyo or an iPod Shuffle,
they’ve been here since 2003

Bowen: Now we bring dispatches of birthday celebration, Coby G and Mason S. congratulations on the anniversary of emerging from your mother’s vagina.

Ben: To the Indian Ridge Little League team, your coach says pizza is for winners. So tonight you starve.

Bowen: Huh? Do you hear that? The rumbling of 1000 hungers?

Ben: Is it?

Bowen: It is.

Ben: The physical voice of pizza, the insatiable Mr. Munch.

[Mr. Munch walks in]

Mr. Much: Querp, querp, querp,  querp,  querp,  querp,  querp
Pizza in my tummy.

Mikey: It’s Munch! He’s hungry, bud?

Bowen: Hungry for validation, for he was abandoned on a Ferris wheel and Malpais. The bastard child of a Cirque du Soleil performer and grimace. Applaud him, applaud his bravery.

Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me

Chloe: Oh, look. That’s Pascuale the pizza chef.

Mikey: Was he always so sexy?

[Pascuale the pizza chef runs around the stage and runs out.]

Ben: Now, children, a cautionary tale. Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese has a salad bar?

Bowen: An untouched place where hope goes to die. And here to tell us about it is Katie Carrot.

[Katie Carrot walks in wearing carrot costume]

Katie Carrot: Longing for contact under clear plastic,
broken disposable thongs
cold linguini, pepper on chini
where did we go wrong?
Romaine is all the remain

Ben: She’s dying.

Katie Carrot: Romaine is all that remains

Chloe: Wow. I know that carrot. I’ve been that carrot.

Ben: We’re all that carrot. Listen.

Bowen: Tonight, the call goes out to all the world. Throw off the shackles of your dark buzz, your religion, your racial animus.

Ben: And unite under one banner, the banner of pizza.

Bowen: Also the pink gun on the Time Crisis II game is broken.

Ben: Oh, yes. And someone left a diaper in the ball pit. Now unite and sing.

Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me

 

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