Chloe Fineman
Mikey Day
Alex Moffat
Bowen Yang
Benedict Cumberbatch
Julie… Melissa Villaseñor
Mr. Munch… Kenan Thompson
Katie Carrot… Katie Carrot Strong
Pascuale the pizza chef… Aristotle Athari
Chloe: Come on, buddy, let’s grab our seats.
Mikey: Alright. I think the show is starting.
Alex: Hey, everybody, I know you came to see Chuck E. and his pals but we have some technical problems. And Chuck E. and the Pizza Time band are not running right now.
Chloe: Aw, that’s why we came.
Alex: Yeah, I know. I know. I’m sorry about that. But the show must go on.Good. Okay. And great news, I reached out on Twitter to my favorite British band from 1983 and they were available. So please welcome Reflection Denied.
[Ben and Bowen walk to the stage]Ben: Amongst the basil and the Pomodoro, did I experience my reverie? Here at Chuck E. Cheese, existing in the liminal space between them all and the highway. Before the big bang that was pizza?
Bowen: Greetings children and children of the mind. We are Reflection Denied but today I’m a vessel for the eponymous rodent, Charles Entertainment cheese.
Ben: And I for Fantasy Giles. Join us on a soundscape of pizza…
Bowen: Game…
Ben: And soulful longing.
Bowen: [singing] I reached self concept at the pizza plex.
I forgot my taste and smell
Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce
Bowen: She bowling while I’m ski falling
you read my mind so well
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Mikey: This is fun, right, bud?
Chloe: Is this for kids?
Mikey: I think it’s for him.
Bowen: I cried alone in the bowl pit
Oh father, where are you?
Ben: Games and sauce, games and sauce
Bowen: Mr. Pender out of Dr. Pepper
Why today have bow
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Bowen: If you’d like to book us for future gigs or tip us in Dippin Dots, please see Julie.
Chloe: Who is Julie?
Mikey: I’m guessing she is.
Ben and Bowen: Tokens for tickets, tickets for prizes
parents paying for dreams.
Win and old yoyo or an iPod Shuffle,
they’ve been here since 2003
Bowen: Now we bring dispatches of birthday celebration, Coby G and Mason S. congratulations on the anniversary of emerging from your mother’s vagina.
Ben: To the Indian Ridge Little League team, your coach says pizza is for winners. So tonight you starve.
Bowen: Huh? Do you hear that? The rumbling of 1000 hungers?
Ben: Is it?
Bowen: It is.
Ben: The physical voice of pizza, the insatiable Mr. Munch.
[Mr. Munch walks in]Mr. Much: Querp, querp, querp, querp, querp, querp, querp
Pizza in my tummy.
Mikey: It’s Munch! He’s hungry, bud?
Bowen: Hungry for validation, for he was abandoned on a Ferris wheel and Malpais. The bastard child of a Cirque du Soleil performer and grimace. Applaud him, applaud his bravery.
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
Chloe: Oh, look. That’s Pascuale the pizza chef.
Mikey: Was he always so sexy?
[Pascuale the pizza chef runs around the stage and runs out.]Ben: Now, children, a cautionary tale. Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese has a salad bar?
Bowen: An untouched place where hope goes to die. And here to tell us about it is Katie Carrot.
[Katie Carrot walks in wearing carrot costume]Katie Carrot: Longing for contact under clear plastic,
broken disposable thongs
cold linguini, pepper on chini
where did we go wrong?
Romaine is all the remain
Ben: She’s dying.
Katie Carrot: Romaine is all that remains
Chloe: Wow. I know that carrot. I’ve been that carrot.
Ben: We’re all that carrot. Listen.
Bowen: Tonight, the call goes out to all the world. Throw off the shackles of your dark buzz, your religion, your racial animus.
Ben: And unite under one banner, the banner of pizza.
Bowen: Also the pink gun on the Time Crisis II game is broken.
Ben: Oh, yes. And someone left a diaper in the ball pit. Now unite and sing.
Ben: Oh pizza pie in the pizza sky
deliver me, deliver me
It’s not “Fantasy Giles” it is Jasper Tennessee Jowls. You can also tell from the dog ears and snout Ben is wearing.