Colin Jost
Terry Fink… Alex Moffat
[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]Colin Jost: Well it’s officially Oscar season and here to give his predictions for Hollywood’s biggest night is film critic Terry Fink.
[Terry Fink slides in]Terry Fink: Mr. Jost, it’s a privilege to be back my sir.
Colin Jost: Terry, I understand you’ve seen every single film up for an Oscar this year, is that right?
Terry Fink: Bingo host, and every film not nominated too. It’s been one heck of a 48 hours.
Colin Jost: Wait, I’m sorry. You watched every single movie from this year in the last two days. How is that even possible?
Terry Fink: Oh, all thanks to a little multivitamin I take called LSD. The LSD helps me LS-see all these terrific films. First up my pick for best flick, Power of the Dog. Who led this dog out of the closet? That’s the question posed by director Jane Campion in this hysterical gay Western. Benedict Cumberbatch rides high as the titular Dog, the Bounty Hunter. That is until bizarrely stepping through the screen just to make fun of my undies and the voice of my middle school boy. Aside from that, it’s the best movie I’ve ever seen. Colin?
Colin Jost: Yeah, Power of the Dog isn’t about dog, the bounty hunter. And you realize LSD isn’t a vitamin. It’s a hallucinogen.
Terry Fink: Ha-ha. You say tomato, I say [gibberish]. Next up in animation, fun for the whole Familia and Encanto feels worse than being on fire. Pan drawn by the legendary auteur, the Zodiac Killer. All gray throbbing the stress dream does dragon spots but local gangster rapper Lin Manuel Samantha saves the day once again with his catchy hit, Colin JostTerry Fink hours of screaming. This film warmed my heart, broke my brain and sold my kidney for Dogecoin. I give Encanto 10 Tiny terrified Terry’s. Mr. President?
Colin Jost: Man, Terry, I gotta say I’m really starting to worry about you.
Terry Fink: And I’m starting to worry there is no Terry. C’est la vie. Yeah. Okay, next up my pick for best original screenplay, Kenneth Branagh’s Belfast. Get the tissues ready as Johnny Knoxville and his band Bop around town and torture each other’s balls. In this troubles era tear jerker. But it’s Dame Judi Dench, who literally sewers as we man shot out of a cannon directly into my open mouth. I couldn’t stop laughing or crying or doing the Nae-Nae until I was forcibly removed by Regal Cinemas strongest teams. I give Jack ass Belfast 4D 20 twerking ticklish Terry’s. Terry?
Colin Jost: You’re Terry.
Terry Fink: And you’re a wonderful friend. Too bad I’m gonna eat your face.
Colin Jost: Terry Fink, everyone.
Terry Fink: I’m gonna do it though. Yeah.