Patch… Jack Harlow
Dooney… Heidi Gardner
Pastor… James Austin Johnson
Clint… Andrew Dismukes
Becca… Chloe Fineman
Uncle Tag… Mikey Day
Grandma Judy… Sarah Sherman
Jeff Probst
Patch: And Dooney, no matter come hell or high water. I’m gonna love you till I got no more love to give, I swear that to you.
Dooney: Whatever.
Pastor: That was beautiful patch. Now if anyone here has reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.
Dooney: Yeah, got a reason.
Patch: Babe, what are you doing?
Dooney: Just saying I don’t know. I feel like marrying you no more on account of your best man came to our wedding dress like Joker.
[The best man is dressed up as Joker with make up and everything]Clint: Y’all don’t like me dressed like Joker?
Dooney: No, Clint, I don’t like it. I know we’re getting married on Halloween night, but I don’t like it being dressed like Joker.
Clint: You’re getting married on Halloween night. I thought I could dress like Joker.
Patch: Clint, I told you multiple times, we wasn’t doing costumes at the wedding.
Clint: Yeah, but I told you I was gonna dress like Joker.
Patch: I know, but I said not to.
Clint: But I said I was gonna dress like Joker.
Patch: I know. But when you said you were gonna do that, I said do not do that.
Clint: Yeah, but I told you I was gonna dress like Joker.
Dooney: You ruined my wedding, Clint.
Clint: I ruined your whole wedding just because I’m dressed like Joker?
Dooney: Yes, Clint. When I was a little baby girl dreaming about my wedding, my husband’s best man wasn’t dressed like Joker.
Clint: I didn’t want to ruin your wedding, Dooney. I just want to dress like Joker.
Patch: Dooney, baby. Please, if Clint goes take off the Joker stuff right now, can we please still be bridegroom?
Dooney: Okay, then. If Clint goes stop being Joker, then we can still be bride and groom.
Patch: Yes, thank you baby. Clint, go to the bathroom now, take off all the Joker.
Clint: I won’t change out of Joker.
Patch: Come on, Clint, you’re my best friend. You know I’ve been wanting to marry Dooney ever since I saw her.
Clint: And you know everyone to dress like Joker ever since last Halloween when I saw a guy dressed like Joker. I said next year I’m gonna dress like Joker.
Dooney: But I don’t want you to be Joker no more, Clint.
Clint: Well, I do wanna be Joker, Dooney. I think everybody here should get to vote on if I get to be Joker, if I got to be not be Joker no more.
Patch: Fine. Well vote on it.
Dooney: No, Patch.
Patch: Well, he’s right Dooney. If everybody else wants him still be Joker, he should get to still be Joker.
Dooney: Well then, I guess I don’t want to be bride and groom no more.
Patch: I do want to be bride and groom with you, Dooney, more than anything in this here earth. But we’re getting married on Halloween now. We got to respect that some people go show up dressed like Joker. We lucky we only got one Joker. This place is going to be crawling with Jokers, Dooney.
Pastor: It’s settled then. By the power vested in me by the State of Kentucky, we will now vote on Joker.
Patch: Alright. Cousin Becca, do you think Clint should or should not get to still be Joker?
Becca: Clint, I understand that is Halloween night, and on Halloween night you should get to be Joker.
Clint: Thank you.
Becca: But if Dooney don’t want you to be Joker so much that she won’t marry Patch no more, then my vote is you should not get to be Joker.
Patch: Thank you cousin Becca. Uncle Tag, are you pro Joker or no Joker?
Uncle Tag: Dooney, there is nothing more I want than for you and my little nephew to be bride and groom.
Dooney: Me too, uncle Tag.
Uncle Tag: However, given that it is Halloween night, the one night a year in which everyone is allowed to be Joker, I vote that Clint should continue to be Joker.
Patch: Grandma Judy, it’s down to you. Should Clint or should not Clint continue to be Joker at our wedding?
Grandma Judy: Dooney, you make the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.
Dooney: Thank you, Grandma Judy, that’s so sweet.
Grandma Judy: And Clint, you know I never liked you. You are a skunk and an alcoholic. But I’ll be damned if you don’t exactly look like Joker.
Clint: Thank you Grandma Judy. I will cherish that.
Patch: Grandma Judy, have you made your decision?
Grandma Judy: I have.
Patch: Okay, then survivors Jeff Probst, please share the results.
[cheers and applause]Jeff Probst: Dooney, the tribe has spoken. [pulls out a sheet of paper from a pot] Clint gets to be Joker.
Dooney: No.
Jeff Probst: You need to bring me a torch. Congratulations, Clint, you get to be Joker.
Clint: Whoo! Jeff Probst said I get to be Joker. Let’s go, boy.