Megan… Chloe Fineman
Gay Megan… Aubrey Plaza
Male voice: America has a new obsession, and her name is Megan. Designed to be a little girl’s best friend.
Megan: Don’t cry, Katie, everything is going to be okay. Do you want to dance with me?
Male voice: And protect her at any cost?
Megan: I won’t let anything harm you.
Male voice: Megan is a box office powerhouse, but just captivated one demographic above all… gay men. Megan is a gay icon. She is the definition of care. Megan’s plastic foot is on my neck. So now we’re slapping together a sequel. which promises to be even more gay.
Gay Megan: I’m Megan. I’m your best friend. Your den bitch.
Male voice: It’s Megan 2.0.
Michael: Oh wow.
Bowen: Working it, mother.
Male voice: “Strap in Hunty, Annabelle could never”
All: Go Megan. Go Megan.
Kenan: I signed up for 7am Szenario twin spin class. I should really go home.
Gay Megan: Should you go home? Or should we call it a drag show a mother lode and get high off poppers?
Bowen: Oh, hey, the Queen has spoken.
Male voice: Critics are saying Megan slays literally and it’s like bros but for gays. You want to do dance you can do on TikTok? Well, then gag on this.
Bowen: It’s the dolls that’s literally giving me life.
Megan: Well, you know, I had to turn out for my little homos.[All the gays at the bar get offended] [Gay Megan turns Megan off]
Gay Megan: But seriously, you guys are little homos.
Bowen: You can say it. [All the gays at the bar start partying again]
Male voice: if there’s one thing gay men love, it’s unhinged plastic women.[Gay Megan choke’s Bowen]
Gay Megan: I’m bored. Drive me home.
Bowen: Megan, you messy hoe, I’m obsessed with you.
Allison: Everyone stopped. Get away from her. She is not your friend. She’s a killer and she will kill you.
Bowen: Oh my God. Are you from the show girls?
Allison: Yeah. Yeah.
Michael: Oh, yeah, you had your butt eaten. That’s so cool.
Allison: It is?
Michael: Yes. Join us.
Allison: Really? Even though I’m straight?
Bowen: Mama, if you’re getting your ass ate on TV, you’re an ally, sis.
Bowen: Megan, you’re paired with the club speakers, right? Play some music.
Gay Megan: I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose.
Megan: No, Megan, real music. Okay, you hungry sluts.[music playing]
Male voice: Megan 2.0. This one’s for the gays.