Martin Herlihy[Starts with Ben Marshall, John Higgins and Martin Herlihy in their office looking exhausted]
Ben: Man I haven’t been feeling good lately. Just like healthy healthy.
John: Totally. I’ve been feeling Fuego.
Martin: Looking Fuego too.
Ben: It’s so important as we get older that we start taking care of ourselves. You know what I mean? Like, wellness.
John: Wellness. Oh my god. It’s so important.
Ben: My big thing I’m trying to crack right now is my screen time. Right now, I’m up to 23 and a half hours a day.
Martin: You got to do better.
Ben: That’s not great.
John: I’ve been trying to get in shape. Have you guys heard of intermittent fasting?
Ben: Yeah. Are you doing that?
John: No, I’m doing intermittent sleeping. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, I’m not sleeping.
Ben: Is it working?
John: Not yet.
Ben: Okay, cool. Mark, how about you?
Martin: Oh, well, I got this new post workout smoothie I’ve been loving.
Ben: Oh, smoothies time what’s in it?
Martin: Just like milk, ice cream, chocolate sauce.
John: Oh, a milkshake.
Martin: A milkshake, yes. Why? What did I say?
Ben: We’re doing so well.
Martin: So good.
John: The best.
Ben: And I’m feeling kind of miserable.
Martin: So miserable.
John: The worst. Oh, guys. I’m on a new medication.
Ben: That’s great, buddy.
John: It’s like Zoloft, but just the side effects. So very depressed, but my penis is broken.
Ben: That sucks.
Martin: And I just signed up for a new gym.
Ben: Which one you go with?
Martin: This is gonna sound kind of weird, but it’s called Cigarette Fitness.
Ben: Oh my god. So it’s a smoking gym?
Martin: A smoking gym. That’s right.
Ben: Dude, did you know you can delete money from your bank account? Bing. I’ve been mad into that.
Martin: God, we are doing so well right now.
Ben: Totally, we’re slipping away.
John: Ever since a pandemic, the light just keeps getting dimmer.
Martin: Dimmer, yeah.
Ben: Dating, yeah.
Martin: I’ve forgotten how to dance.
Ben: Oh, remember dancing?It was like… I don’t know why we ever did that.
Martin: Oh, I’ve been seeing a therapist.
Martin: Yeah, like all over the place. I don’t think she’s really there.
Ben: Oh, like a hallucination.[Martin is seeing a woman waving at him standing behind Ben]
I’m trying to kick all my bad habits man. I mean, I gotta stop grinding my teeth.[Ben shows his teeth. It looks horrible]
Is it bad?
John: Yes. You look like Gollum.
Martin: God, I just need a day where I go to the park, take off all my clothes and start screaming about how there’s too many wires in the world.
Ben: One day is all we ask.
All: Just one day.[Cut to Wellness commercial video]
Female voice: Wellness, brought to you by Oral B mouthguards.