Tommy… Brendan Gleeson[Starts with high school graduates having a party]
John: Yo, Anthony, get off the island, bro. My mom is gonna freak out. Oh my god.
Martin: John, this party rocks.
Ben: It’s like legendary.
Tommy: Totally. Let’s hope your mom lets him drink.
John: She’s got to. We’re seniors now.
Tommy: Seniors. God, it feels so weird to say that. So used to being the junior.
Martin: Look at us grown up.
Ben: Oh, I got my Penn State app done by the way.
John: Dude, me too brother.
Martin: Same. Hello? Future roomies. What about you, Tommy? Done with your app?
Tommy: Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’m not applying to Penn State.
John: What? Why?
Ben: You’re playing Harvard aren’t you, pal?
Martin: Oh, you friggin brainiac!
Tommy: No, no. Guys, look, remember when I told you I was 17?
Ben: Yeah, we all are.
Tommy: I’m 67.
Tommy: I’m 67 years old.
Ben: No, you’re 17, you’re from New Jersey. Your name is Tommy Porcha Purchiano.
Tommy: My name is Seamus O’sullivan. I’m a 67 year old Irishman.
John: So let me get this straight. when we would skip seven periods, sneak beers, you were what? Some old guy?
Tommy: Think about it. When you are dragging crappy beer, I was drinking?
John: A glass of whiskey with a big square ice cube.
Martin: but Porcha, you’re the craziest kid in school. I mean, you did drugs in class.
Tommy: Those were blood thinners.
Martin: Oh my god.
Ben: So all those times after gym class when we were nervously changing and you were really comfortable being asked nude?
Tommy: That’s just the way old fellas are.
Ben: Tommy, why are you in high school?
Tommy: I don’t know. I just felt lost. And then I watched Gossip Girl. And it just seemed fun.
Ben, John and Martin: What?
Ben: Come on, man.
Margin: You watched Gossip Girl and enrolled in high school?
Tommy: [mocking] You saw Gossip girl and then you enrolled in high school? I saw it with my wife.
Ben: Dude, you have a wife?
Tommy: Yes. And 13 children. Ah! Do you think they’d be mad at me?
Martin: Of course they’re gonna be mad at you.
Ben: Come on guys, let’s get the hell out of here.
John: I do just have one question. What any of this real?
Tommy: Was it real? Ben, when you forgot your lunch money, what did I do?
Ben: You gave me half your cabbage.
Tommy: When we were having body image issues, what did I do to make you feel better?
Martin: You took your shirt off and jumped around a little.
Tommy: John, when your father passed, who was there to support your family?
Tommy: Staying with your mother every night, giving her massages, sleeping in our bed?
John: I didn’t know that happened.
Tommy: Just saying. You’re my boys. Weren’t about to have an epic senior year.
Martin: Wait, then what about your family?
Tommy: Don’t be dumb. I’m not going to miss me senior year. Not when we finally run this school.
Martin: [showing his car keys] Anybody needs a lift?[cut to Tommy, Ben, John and Martin on a car. Tommy is standing behind at the back of the pickup.”
Tommy: I feel infinite.[now everyone is standing at the back of the pickup”
All: I feel infinite.