Mr. Klein… James Austin Johnson
Mrs. Klein… Heidi Gardner
Kyle: Can’t believe he’s really gone.
Mr. Klein: He isn’t gone, son. Pop Pop will always live on inside of all of us.
Jerrod: That’s beautiful.
Andrew: Well said sir.
Mrs. Klein: Well, sweetie, are you ready to say goodbye?
Mr. Klein: Yeah. But first I want to share something with you guys. You know this spot was where Pop Pop would take me off to my ballgames. Believe it or not, I wasn’t much of an athlete. [giggling] Okay, okay. Ha-ha. But Pop Pop would take me here. He pointed out to the sea and say “Son, life is like the tide. There’s highs and lows, but eventually it all washes away.” Gonna miss you dad.
Jerrod: Wow. It’s a beautiful story, Mr. Klein. Thank you for sharing.
Andrew: And thank all of you for allowing us at Boudreau’s Mortuary to be a part of this moment with you.
Jerrod: Now, if you’re ready, please bow your heads as we scattered the remains.
Mrs. Klein: Oh my god!
Mr. Klein: No! Oh god, no.
Andrew: These moments are always so hard. We’ll give you folks some space.
Mr. Klein: What? How did you just do?
Jerrod: We said goodbye to Pop Pop.
Mrs. Klein: He was supposed to be cremated?
Jerrod: Who was?
Mr. Klein: My father? He was supposed to be cremated. Not chunked off a cliff.
Andrew: Okay. So that was not related to us.
Jerrod: Yeah. But in a way, wasn’t this kind of better?
Andrew: Oh, speak on that.
Jerrod: Well, you got the body aspect of a burial but we still got to throw him.
Andrew: Yeah. Yeah, I liked that. Well, [pulls out the bill] time for the dreaded check. Who’s the boss around here? [pointing at Kyle] You I assume? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Just kidding, sport. Maybe some–
Kyle: [yelling] Do not touch me, man.
Andrew: Absolutely, sir. Whenever you’re ready. [passing the bill to Mr. Klein]
Mr. Klein: We’re not gonna pay for this.
Jerrod: May I ask why?
Mrs. Klein: You threw my father in law of a cliff?
Jerrod: Okay, see, I thought we resolved that.
Mr. Klein: No, we did not.
Mrs. Klein: Honey, calm down. Your condition.
Andrew: Okay, you know what? I feel like you guys are mad. So how about I just go get him?
Jerrod: So what you guys got cooking up this weekend?
Mr. Klein: I really don’t want to talk about that.
Mrs. Klein: Why don’t you bring an urn?
Jerrod: Oh, this? This isn’t an urn. It’s soup.
Mrs. Klein: You keep soup and an urn?
Jerrod: No, no, it’s a thermos. It looks like an urn. I got it at a morticians conference.
Andrew: [from down] I got him.
Jerrod: All right. Good job, man.
Andrew: What are you guys talking about?
Jerrod: They’re just asking about the urn.
Andrew: Oh, the thermos? Pretty good. Pretty cool, right?
Mr. Klein: No, it’s not cool. Jesus. Just get the body back.
Andrew: No worries. So I got pop pop right here.
Kyle: [looking down] That isn’t Pop Pop.
Mrs. Klein: That’s clearly a young cyclist. He’s wearing those little shoes.
Andrew: Umm. Mm-hmm. Okay. And that’s a deal breaker for you guys?
Mr. Klein: Yes.
Andrew: Alright. I’ll just put them back. [throws the body down again] So hey, you think I can get some of that soup?
Jerrod: Oh, hell yeah. Heads up. It’s shrimp bisque. [throws the thermos down]