James Austin Johnson
Steve Martin
Martin Short
Cecily Strong
Kenan Thompson
[Starts with people traveling inside a train]
james: Final boarding for whatever the stop is before you get to Buffalo.
Steve: I have heard so much about Buffalo, I can hardly wait to get there.
Cecily: Wow. A real Christmas in Buffalo. It’s finally happening.
Martin: Just like dear old Pepoo and Moomoo used to talk about.
Cecily: They’d be so proud of us.
Steve: Well, minus some of the stuff we’ve done.
Kenan: Well, I’m glad I sat with you three. You seem like a fun group.
Steve: You know what? We are fun. Thank you for noticing that.
Martin: Where are you heading, mister. Are you going to Buffalo too? Or Buffalo three? That’s my buffalo joke that I do often.
Kenan: No, I’m just hanging there on business. The only reason anyone would want to go to Buffalo.
Cecily: Only reason? But it’s the best place to see it.
Kenan: See what?
Martin: Are you messing with us? Snow of course.
Cecily, Steve and Martin: [singing] Snow, snow, snow
Martin: It won’t be long before we’ll be there with snow
Cecily: Snow, I want to wash my hands my hair
and ass with snow
Kenan: Oh, wow. That sounds cold. You must really like snow.
Steve: We don’t know, sir. We’ve never seen it. Not in person anyway.
Snow, I want to go outside and talk to bunch of snow
Cecily: Snow, to kiss a great big man entirely made of snow
Martin: Just kiss? You know you never just kiss.
Cecily: Okay. Yeah, maybe more. I’m just so excited for snow. If I close my eyes. I feel like I can almost see it
[They all stand and dance. The train set changes to a snowing montain.]
All: Where it’s snowing? Oh winter crew
what’s where I want to be
Steve: Snowball eating, that’s what I’ll do
Kenan: Eating?
Martin: Oh, I’m going to sleep all night in the snow.
Kenan: Sleep in the snow? Are you crazy?
Steve: For snow.
Kenan: Now I’m excited for snow.
What is Christmas with no Snow?
Martin: No white Christmas with no snow
All: Snow
Cecily: I’ll wash my hair with snow
Kenan: Why not?
Steve: Fill my underwear with snow
Kenan: If that’s your thing.
Martin: And when I see the snow
I’m gonna know is snow
Kenan: I would hope so.
All: Snow.
Kenan: So you really never seen snow? Where are you from?
Martin: The woods.
Kenan: The woods?
Cecily: Yes.
Kenan: Isn’t there snow there?
Cecily: Oh, tons. But we always sleep through it.
Steve: Otherwise we wouldn’t survive the winter.
Martin: No. Don’t worry about that. That’s why we have all these nuts with us.
Kenan: Oh wow. Nuts?
Cecily: [yelling] Those are ours!
Kenan: Okay. Sorry. Listen, it’s getting late.
I’d love to stay up late with you,
but like to get some
should I go to sleep?
And dream…
[The train background set comes back in]
All: Of snow, snow, snow, snow.
[train bell ringing]
Cecily: Well, that song made me sleepy. You know the rules.
Martin: But if you fall asleep, we break the spell.
Kenan: What’s spell?
Steve: Oh, that we won’t get our Christmas wish. Oh brother.
Kenan: What wish?
James: Aw, I was really hoping they’d make it this time. Those bears make the same Christmas wish every year to turn into humans and ride the train to Buffalo to see snow. But they always fall asleep and Hibernate.
[Kenan is now sitting with three big bears]
Kenan: Bears? What are you talking…? Hey, wake up. It’s snowing outside.
James: Shush. Don’t wake them up. Are you insane? They’ll kill us. They’re bears.
Kenan: Oh. Good point. Well, Merry Christmas bears. [sees nuts] Oh nuts.
Bear: Those are ours!