Michael Che: Press Secretary Jen Psaki is reportedly leaving the White House this spring to join MSNBC. Damn she’s still at work and already has her next job lined up? That’s as crazy as some of the sketches on season 2 of “That Damn Michael Che”, this summer on HBO Max.
Colin Jost: Workers at the Amazon warehouse in Staten Island voted to become the first Amazon workers in the country to form a union. The union explains Amazon’s new slogan, “It’d be a real shame if something happened to your package.”
Michael Che: According to a new study, men who eat too much meat are raising the risk of becoming infertile. On the other hand, this dude has five kids that we know of. [Picture chages to Donald Trump]
The conservative media organization The Daily Wire said they’ll spend $100 million to create children’s programming to counter woke media companies. Programs will include
Colin Jost: “Clifford the Big straight dog”, “Encanto but an English”, and “One Fish, Two Fish, that’s how many fish genders there are”.
Michael Che: Wildlife officials say that a flamingo that escaped from a Kansas zoo Colin Jost7 years ago has been spotted in Texas, or and hear me out, flamingos look like of the flamingos.
Colin Jost: Wildlife officials in Tennessee have captured a 500 pound black bear living on a college campus. A black bear that, let’s face it, took the spot of more deserving white and Asian bears. [picture changes to polar bear and a panda]
Michael Che: In a recent interview, Tyler Perry revealed that he has used his Medea voice while having sex. Damn, dude must like sex drives hell.
Colin Jost: A new study shows that in the past Michael Che0 years, pre diabetes and children has more than doubled. Thanks largely to the popularity of Mountain Dew breast milk blast.