Colin Jost
Kate McKinnon
[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]Colin Jost: Well, this week Florida’s controversial “Don’t say gay” bill passed its final state senate committee. Here to comment is Kate McKinnon.
[Kate McKinnon slides in.]Kate McKinnon: Hi, Colin.
Colin Jost: Hi, Kate. Thank you for being here.
Kate McKinnon: I’m sorry to barge in here out of costume. I just heard about this law. And I think it’s amazing.
Colin Jost: You do?
Kate McKinnon: Yeah. Because, you know, when I was in middle school in the 90s, I was kind of like tortured by the constant use of the word gay. Like, you know, “That’s so gay” or “Ew, you’re gay.” It just made me feel horrible and to hear that Ron Dis Candice has taken a stand and said, “No, you cannot say gay in school anymore.” I’m just like, I’m so jazzed. And in Florida of all places.
Colin Jost: Yeah. Yeah. So, actually, I feel like there’s been a misunderstanding. The law actually means that you can’t acknowledge that gay exists at all.
Kate McKinnon: What?
Colin Jost: Yeah, like teachers can’t speak about gay people in history or if a kid has a gay family member.
Kate McKinnon: What?
Colin Jost: Yeah, and if a kid confides that they’re gay to a teacher, the teacher has to out them to their parents.
Kate McKinnon: What?
Colin Jost: Yeah, sorry to break this to you. It’s probably affecting what you were gonna say.
Kate McKinnon: No, yeah. Okay, well, that’s okay. Oh, no, I’ll say something. It’s just that thing of like, when they say “Don’t say gay,” then it’s like stuck in your head. But it’s fine. Okay. Anyway, I am deeply gay. Sorry. Deeply concerned. It just feels like this is gonna make kids gay and trans– Sorry, depressed and suicidal. And I just think these laws are lesbians. Sorry. Unconscionable, unconscionable.
Colin Jost: Yeah. I think you ended up saying gay a couple of times.
Kate McKinnon: Right. Well, I’m just trying to make sense of all this. Like, does this don’t say gay law have a purpose?
Colin Jost: Well, I think it’s so kids aren’t going home with questions that parents don’t want to answer. I don’t know what the idea is.
Kate McKinnon: So like, one kid can say I live with my parents, but another one has to say I live in a house with two adult men who bought me when I was young? That’s good. They’ll be less confused.
Colin Jost: Yeah, it does sound like it would be more confusing.
Kate McKinnon: Oh, look Colin, if the 90s right and gay means bad, than this is the gayest law I have ever seen. So kids, listen up. If you can’t say it, you might as well sing it.
[singing in the rhythm of ‘Smoke on the water’] Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gayColin Jost: Kate McKinnon, everyone.