[Starts with SNL monologue intro]
[Cut to SNL stage]
[Band is playing music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Zoë Kravitz.
[Zoë Kravitz walks in and to the stage]
[cheers and applause]
Zoë Kravitz: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. It is so fantastic to be here. I’m your host Zoë Kravitz. I currently have a new movie out called “The Batman”. In the movie I play Cat Woman. Sorry, The Cat Woman. To prepare for the role. I watched the movie Musical Cats every day for a year which I actually heard was the same way Joaquin Phoenix prepared to play the Joker.
[Kate McKinnon walks in wearing the old Cat Woman outfit.]
Kate: So, are you talking about cats?
Zoë Kravitz: I was. I was just doing my monologue. You’re also Catwoman?
Kate: Yes. I’m Cat Woman from the 90s. The one with the whip. You know, like cats have. So you’re part of a proud lineage of Cat Woman, each with their own origin story. Do you want to know mine?
Zoë Kravitz: Yeah, yeah. What’s your’s?
Kate: Okay. I fell out of a window onto a pile of cats. They licked me back to life. And now I just like Sandy from a porno version of Greece. It’s still cold, Greece.
Zoë Kravitz: Cool. Well, thank you. It’s great to have some fellow Cat Woman support. I should probably get back to the–
Kate: No, hang on. We have to fire up the cat signal.
Zoë Kravitz: I’m sorry, cat signal.
Kate: Yeah. For anytime you need a Cat Woman. Behold.
[Kate turns on the cat signal like the bat signal of Batman up in the sky]
Zoë Kravitz: Oh, I love that it’s a noble cat ready to pounce off the ledge.
Kate: Or it’s doing its business in the litter box.
[Ego Nwodim walks in wearing another Cat Woman outfit]
Ego: Hello. I saw the signal. Is someone in danger?
Zoë Kravitz: Oh, yeah. You’re Cat Woman too?
Ego: Intuitively, I was the first black Cat Woman.
Zoë Kravitz: Yeah, right? Yes. Eartha Kitt from the 1960s TV version.
Ego: Yet people called it can’t be turned out, it was just super gay.
Kate: And be glad your outfit isn’t latex because this is how I sneak up on bad guys. Ready?
[When Kate moves, her outfit makes squeaking sound.]
Zoë Kravitz: Wow. You know it actually does feel really nice having all this Cat Woman energy up here but I should really get back to the monologue. So can we turn this cat signal off before–
[Aidy Bryant walks in wearing casual outfit but with a cart full of cats]
Aidy: Before me? Hell no.
Zoë Kravitz: Another Cat woman.
Aidy: Yeah, more of a cat lady I guess. Yes, this is my husband. Sorry cat. And we’re here to meet Rosalia. Do you take me to her? How does that work?
Zoë Kravitz: I don’t think I can do that right now. I have to post the show.
Aidy: Oh yeah, sure I get it. You know, I’ve hosted the show dozens of times, in my mind where it’s called Saturday Night cats.
Zoë Kravitz: Not Caturday Night Live?
Aidy: Dang it. Okay, wow, I was really not expecting to meet so many cat people. And not that I don’t love it but maybe that’s enough.
Ego: Even if the next one is Doja Cat?
Zoë Kravitz: Oh my god, is she here?
Chris: No. But it’s me. It’s I, Katt Williams.
Zoë Kravitz: Oh, come on. You’re not even a woman.
Chris: I am a lover of women. Meow. And if I wanted to meet Rosalia, how would i–
Zoë Kravitz: Seriously, is there an off button somewhere?
Aidy: Oh, but the cat signal brought us all together.
Ego: And right now the world needs as many Cat Women…
Chris: and Williams’s.
Ego: …as it can get.
Kate: Now let’s go fight some crime.
Zoë Kravitz: Okay, it looks like that’s done. So I can finally say what I’ve been trying to say. We’ve got a great show for you tonight. Rosalia is here. So, stick around and we’ll be right back.