Bosses

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Murphy… Bowen Yang

Janet… Chloe Fineman

Reynold… Molly Kearney

Daniel… Sarah Sherman

Benson… Quinta Brunson

Heather… Heather Gardner

Murphy: So Janet, how’s your first month here been?

Janet: Oh, it’s been great. I’m so happy to be working here.

Reynold: Well, we’re lucky to have you.

Janet: But I don’t want to make this a big deal. I think Daniels has been kind of weird with me.

Murphy: Oh, Daniel is our top salesman, really? He’s always been cool to me.

Janet: You’re right. It’s probably nothing. Forget I said anything.

Daniel: Hey, Murphy. How’re ya? How are the kids?

Murphy: They’re good, Daniel. Just sent my eldest off to Penn State.

Daniel: oh gosh, that must be hard on the old bank account. [laughing] And Reynold, we’e hitting the links later on what, buddy?

Reynold: Five on the dot, Daniel.

Daniel: Looking forward to it. And Simmons, [suddenly starts acting weird] Big butt. Whoo! Setting off the penis alarm. [suddenly acting normal] And Murphy, you got that reported to me by Monday or what?

Murphy: Absolutely Daniel.

Daniel: Alright, that’s great. Oh and before I forget guys, we got a company wide Zoom meeting at six where I’ll be zooming in on those boobies. Computer enhance, engaging X ray vision. It said we have nipples. And Murphy, listen, that Turner file’s not gonna file itself, alright? See you guys.

Janet: You guys saw that, right?

Murphy: Saw what?

Janet: Daniels when he talks to me, he did like an impression of a sex computer.

Murphy: I thought he was just being goofy. But hey, I’m old school.

Reynold: You know, if you’re having a problem with him, you can always talk to Benson.

Janet: Benson? Really?

Murphy: Oh, yeah, totally. He’s been here forever. He just gets it out. Speak of the devil.

Benson: Well, lookie here, all of my favorite people?

Reynold: How are you?

Murphy: Benson?

Benson: Guys, I want to thank you again for showing up to my granddaughter’s food drive. It meant the world.

Reynold: Anything for you, Benson.

Benson: We fed 500 families in need because of you guys. I mean, Simmons. I know it meant the world to my granddaughter that you brought those.

Janet: Those what?

Benson: Well, those big old buttered yams. Ooh. What I would to jump off a diving board and cannonball and do that cleavage. Help! I’m drowning, but don’t save me. I want to die in there. All right, gang. If you need anything, anything at all, please just give me a call. I’d do anything for you guys. I’d even adopt those gorgeous two twins and raise them in a hotel like Zach and Cody. Alright, duty calls. I’ll catch you guys later.

Reynold: Love you, man.

Janet: Okay, you guys notice that right?

Reynold: I mean, I want to say yes so you don’t feel crazy, but I didn’t notice anything.

Janet: How?

Murphy: Oh, can we make something out of nothing today?

Janet: This is insane.

Heather: Janet. Hey, I’m Heather from HR. I heard you down the hall. And if anyone here has been making you uncomfortable, we will handle it right now in a company wide meeting.

Janet: Thank you.

Heather: But first we have a musical performance from the penis brothers.

[Benson and Daniel walk in dancing]

Daniel: Come on, ya’all.

Benson: This one goes out to our two favorite ladies.

Daniel: Simmons, ya’ll.

Murphy: Oh my god, the penis brothers!

Heather: The moment you’ve all been waiting for, the brothers bongo boob experience.

[Benson and Daniel are hitting on Janet’s breasts like they’re bongo]

Janet: How is that making that sound?

Daniel: Hey Murphy, you got that file for me or what?

Murphy: I do, Daniel. By the way, I got an email from corporate and you’re both fired.

Benson and Daniel: Makes sense.

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