Michael B. Jordan
Andrew Dismukes
[Starts with Michael B. Jordan walking in SNL office.]Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] I’m feeling good.
Bowen: Hey, Michael. Looking good.
Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] I’m hosting Saturday Night Live.
Sarah: Michael. I think you’re so cool.
Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] It’s scary. But I’m Michael B. Jordan. There’s no reason to be nervous.
[Michael B. Jordan slips and falls down]Ouff, no one saw me.
[Andrew is standing behind him]Andrew: You okay there, bud?
Michael B. Jordan: Yeah. I’m good.
Andrew: All right. Be careful.
Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] Oh, okay. Little embarrassing, but at least it’s just Andrew Dismukes. It’s not like Kenan saw him before. It’s all good. I will not fall again. [slips and falls again]
Andrew: You okay there, bud?
Michael B. Jordan: Andrew, I didn’t see you there.
Andrew: It looked like it hurt.
Michael B. Jordan: It didn’t really.
Andrew: It looked like it did though. Are you okay? You want me to get the Nurse? Nurse? Michael B. Jordan just fell down again.
Michael B. Jordan: I said I was fine.
[Michael B. Jordan is looking at the mirror angrily]Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] This Andrew Dismukes guy’s getting in my head. A Michael B. Jordan. I need to never fall over ever again. [slips and fall again]
Andrew: You okay there, bud?
[slips and fall again]Andrew: You okay there, bud?
[slips and fall again]Andrew: Timber! You okay though?
[slips and fall again]Andrew: You okay?
Andrew: You okay there, bud?
Michael B. Jordan: Andrew, stop seeing me fall down.
Andrew: Hey, man, I’m at work. You don’t want me to see you fall down, quit falling down where I work?
Michael B. Jordan: Whatever, just leave me alone.
Andrew: All right, bud. Just be careful. Okay.
Andrew: Hey, guys.
Bowen: Andrew, sit down.
Sarah: You have to stop seeing Michael B. Jordan fall down.
Andrew: I can’t help it. Sometimes he falls and I see.
Sarah: Andrew, when somebody falls down, you have to pretend like you didn’t see it.
Andrew: Well, I didn’t know that. Nobody told me that. You can’t get mad at me for something I didn’t know.
Michael B. Jordan: Guys. What’s going on?
Andrew: Nothing. And hey, next time you have a problem with me, at least have the cojones to say it to my face, instead of sending your lackeys to do your dirty work for you.
Michael B. Jordan: I didn’t tell him anything. All I said was that you keep seeing me fall.
Andrew: Well guess what? Sometimes you fall, and sometimes I there.
Michael B. Jordan: Well then, maybe you shouldn’t be around me at all then. Maybe you should leave and never come back.
Andrew: Whatever, man. I’m done. Done.
[Andrew leaves and Sarah stars crying]Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] I couldn’t believe what I had done. I pushed away my best friend at the show, Andrew Dis-moe. After everything you’ve been through. Monday pitch in Lorne’s office. Tuesday, writing night. When Andrew got cut from a sketch because he did a bad job. Just throw it all away because he saw me fall down a lot? The show was about to start, but I couldn’t do it without him.
Female voice: Three minutes to air. Where is Michael? Anyone have eyes on Michael B. Jordan?
Michael B. Jordan: [thinking] I knew there was only one way to bring him back. [he runs outside the studio to get Andrew]
Michael B. Jordan: [falling down intentionally] I’m falling. Where are you, Andrew?
Andrew: I’m here. And we’re not falling. We’re flying.
[They’re flying around the building]