Willie… Woody Harrelson
Carla… Chloe Fineman[Starts with Woody’s wife visiting him in jail]
Officer: All right. 6117, you got five minutes.
Willy: Oh, Carla Jean. God, so good to see your face.
Carla: I missed you too, Willie.
Willy: Look, I know I made a damn mess of things on the outside, but I swear I’ve changed.
Carla: I hope so. I’m tired of coming here Willie. I really am.
Willy: I know honey. I know. Listen, when I get out of here I’m gonna do you right. I mean, you hear me? I am I’m gonna give you the life you’ve always deserved. Mark my words. I’m gonna be out of here soon.
Ego: No, he’s not.
Willy: What was that?
Ego: Hey, you say whatever you want. That’s your conversation.
Willy: Listen here Carla Jean, you remember that house on Cherry Lane, the one with the white picket fence? When I get out of here, I’m gonna buy us that house.
Ego: Whooo! In today’s market? That is funny.
Willy: I’m sorry it’s a problem?
Ego: Hey, it seems to me like you want one. Leave me out of this. All y’all get on my damn nerves. This man say he gonna buy her house. Buy a house?
Willy: You know, Carla Jean, prison’s actually been good for me.
Ego: No he lying.
Willy: I’ve been reading a lot.
Ego: Say he gonna buy a house.
Willy: I’m actually trying to get my GED.
Ego: Wanna buy a full damn house? Not even a duplex, but a house?
Willy: I think I’m-
Ego: I can’t buy a house and I’m not even in jail. I rent one bedroom apartment and got a damn roommate, who’s always using my soap. Seeing her hair on my bar soap and not from her head either. You want to buy a house? I had a house, ex boyfriend caught it on fire.
Willy: Will you please? I’m trying to talk to my wife.
Ego: That’s your wife. You’re still married?
Carla: Listen baby, you’re the only man for me and no matter how long you’re in here, whether it’s a day or 1000 years I will always wait for you.
Kenan: No, she not.
Carla: Sorry, can you not?
Kenan: Hey, I’m not here. I’m just wallpaper, okay? But she sure had some tall brother drop her off. He out there waiting in the car. AC cranked all the way up. Probably wasting all the damn gas. Listening to Club Random, you know, Bill Maher’s podcast. Yeah, but she talking about she gonna wait for him. Yeah, okay.
Carla: You know, little Willie Jr. is growing up so fast, he got the cutest smile. In fact, he looks just like you.
Kenan: No, he don’t.
Carla: Come on.
Kenan: Wallpaper, okay? Little boy got red hair, though. I mean, you ain’t got no rain. He ain’t got no red hair. tall brother in the car got some red hair though. Man, somebody’s math ain’t mathing. That boy look like Chucky. Yeah, you know Chucky from the Rugrats? Not knife Chucky. Yeah, coming to think of it, knife Chucky got red hair too. every damn Chucky got red hair. Wow, name me one Chucky that ain’t got red hair. Probably Chucky Cheese. Yeah, the Chucky Cheese. What’s he? A rat with a hat? Underneath that, there’s probably some red hair.
Carla: Oh my god, I really can’t with you over my shoulder.
Kenan: Ma’am. I am not your problem. Okay? What I am is wallpaper. El Papel of the wall.
Willie: Look, Carla Jean.
Ego: Ay, hold up, hold up. Ay, Carla Jean, give Dudsy the phone.
Kenan: What, you want to talk to me?
Ego: Yeah, Dudsy, Dudsy.
Kenan: Yes, one second.
Ego: This fool over her talking about he gonna buy her house.
Willie: It’s called manifest.
Ego: Why are you eavesdropping?
Kenan: Well, this lady over here talking about she going wait for him because she thinks he getting that house. She ain’t waiting for nobody. She got a tall red haired Chucky out there-
Ego: House? How’s he gonna buy a house? He has no money. He can’t even afford a candy bar. [crosstalk]
Kenan and Ego: You know what I should do? Go in on a time share.
Kenan: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s what I’m saying.
Carla: Yeah, okay. I guess I’m just gonna go.
Willie: I’ll just head back to the jail.
Kenan: Go ahead, man.[crosstalk]