Male voice: They’re ready for you.[Jeannie walks to the stage]
Male voice: Three, two, one. And we’re live.
Jeannie: Have you guys heard of this TikTok thing? The only tick-tock I hear is my biological clock. Don’t get me started. Don’t even get me started.[the audience are watching awkwardly]
Male voice: Jeannie Darcy, Selective Startage.
Arsenio Hall: No one brings it like Jeanne Darcy. And this time the Darcinator is live. Which means you’re hearing her jokes at the same time she’s telling them instead of being able to stream it late at your convenience. Which is the reason most people get Netflix.
Male voice: Jeanne Darcy shows no mercy.
Jeannie: I had a bra fitting the other day. I tried one on and had a fit. Men must design these things. Has anyone ever seen a jock strap with under Wire? Am I right lady friends? You get my 411? Do not even think of getting me started.
Wanda Sykes: Jeanne Darcy is a legend. That girl inspired a whole generation of lesbian comedians.
Male voice: She’s not a lesbian.
Wanda Sykes: Say what now?
Male voice: Jeannie Darcy, Takes no prisoners.
Jeannie: My friend got a dog and always complains that he messes up her house and jumps in her bed. I said, Are you sure it’s a dog? Or is it my ex-husband? Who’s with me? Don’t get me started. Don’t even get me started.
Sarah Silverman: Oh my god. Jeannie is awesome. She even gave me her set lists.
Jeannie: I just got one of those new Tesla electric cars. I couldn’t get it started. Don’t get me started.
Male voice: Jeannie Darcy, Selective Startage, streaming live tonight.
Jeannie: Don’t even get me started.