Party in Palm Springs

Vince… Michael B Jordan

Ego Nwodim

Sarah Sherman

Chloe Fineman

Punkie Johnson

Janinaneen … Heidi Gardner

[Starts with four ladies having a bachelorette party]

All: Cheers! Whoo!

Ego: After all this wedding planning, I needed this Palm Springs trip, okay?

Sarah: Well your bachelorette weekend ain’t over yet, honey.

[doorbell ringing]

Ego: Oh my gosh, don’t tell me. Don’t tell me.

Sarah: It’s about to get hot in here.

[Vince walks in in a Fireman uniform with a hose]

Vince: Hello ladies, my name is Vince. And I just got word that y’all buildings out of code. And that makes me horny.

[music playing]

[Vince starts dancing]

Ego: You guys are so bad. This is what I’m talking about.

Vince: I’m about to introduce y’all to my friends, Pop and Lock. [showing his two arms]

Chloe: Yay, he’s so hot.

Sarah: You’re welcome. I saw him on the website and I was immediately rock hard.

Ego: Okay, okay. Mr. Pop and Lock, go on.

Punkie: Oh my god, this is crazy.

Chloe: Okay, how red is my face right now?

Vince: Well, we all gonna be off tonight girls. We all go on blush. Your turn bride to be.

[Vince danced in front of Ego]

[doorbell ringing]

Ego: Oh-oh. Wait, do we have another firefighter?

Punkie: Not that we paid for.

Janinaneen: Hey, I’m sorry to bug y’all. Vince babe, my phone died.

Punkie: What? Who is that?

Vince: Oh, my bad. This is my wife, Janinaneen.

[Janinaneen walks in. She’s pregnant.]

Janinaneen: Hey. Sorry. I hate to ask. Can I change my Galaxy for literally two minutes?

Chloe: Sure. I guess.

Janinaneen: Oh, thank you so much. My mom got glute surgery today and we’re just praying she’s okay.

Vince: Wow, the hospitality is biblical. Thank you queens. Urgh. You alright, babe?

Janinaneen: Um, I’m charging. Oh, pictures on my mom’s new ass just came in. She made it. God is good. God is good. Okay, now watch my king strip. Hit it.

Vince: Where was I? Oh, yeah, I’ll introduce y’all to my friends, Pop and Lock.

Janinaneen: Oh yeah, there he is. Sit on them, Vince. Sit on them.

[Vince sits on Punkie and dances]

[Janinaneen moves closer and puts her pregnant belly on Chloe’s face and starts dancing]

Yeah, he made this. He made this. He made this. He made this. He made this.

Chloe: Okay. No. Okay. I am so sorry. I can’t, you guys. I can’t.

Ego: Yeah, you know, I think I was envisioning just like one dancer and not like a pregnant woman with a really long phone charger.

Janinaneen: Girl, don’t hold back because of me. You can touch him. You can kiss him. I promise you, I don’t mind, [pointing at her pregnant belly] and she don’t mind.

Vince: See? See? See? I love that about us. 100% trust. [in Ego’s ears] Oh, I hope and pray to God you find that in your wedding. Oh. I hope and pray to god.

Ego: Okay. Thank you.

Vince: Hit it. Hit it. Because that one my friends, that keeps the relationship alive. It keeps the sexuality alive.

[Vince and Janinaneen start dancing. The ladies start to move away from them.]

Punkie: Okay. This is getting just a little bit weird.

Sarah: Guys, we already paid him the 30 bucks. Just let him finish.

Ego: 30 bucks? My peanut butter cost 30 bucks.

Punkie: Bitch, where you getting peanut butter?

Chloe: Okay, I’m sorry, are they praying?

Vince: I humbly thank God for the power strip. Umm.

Janinaneen: And I pray the lord for these Chickies for letting me charge my galaxy.

Both: Amen.

Vince: Whoo! Where was I? Oh yeah, that’s right. I was introducing y’all to my two friends, Pop and Lock.

Ego: We already met them.

Janinaneen: [putting the water hose between her legs like penis] Hey hoes, who wants to ride his hose? [She’s touching the hose on Chloe’s and Sarah’s faces]

Sarah: This is stressing me out. I feel like we’ll end up on the news.

Chloe: Okay, alright. Okay, alright, enough. We’re done. We’re done.

Punkie: Yes, this is not what we paid for. Okay?

Janinaneen: No, you got more than what you paid for. Three strippers for the price of one.

Ego: Ma’am please stop referring to your fetus as a stripper.

[Janinaneen’s water breaks]

Janinaneen: Oh my god, my water broke.

Chloe: Oh my god.

Ego: Wait, how pregnant is she?

Vince: Just a little over a year, but whatever.

Punkie: What? Oh my god. I’m calling an ambulance.

Janinaneen: WE don’t have time. I’ll have the baby here with my girls.

Vince: We got this, girls. We got this. Okay, hit the music.

[music playing]

All: Push, push, push. Push, push, push. Push, push, push.