Jenna: I’ve just been doing a lot of press and these different jobs. Don’t get me wrong. I’m really really grateful. It’s just I’m starting to feel a little burnt out.
John: Oh, that sucks. Martin, are you ready with the playlist?
Martin: Yeah.
Ben: Oh, and I got the Slurpee.
Martin: Dude, nice.
Jenna: I’m sorry. What do you guys doing?
Ben: We’re going on a beautiful cross country American Road Trip.
John: Just us and the open road. It’s gonna be awesome.
Jenna: Wait, can I come?
[music palying]
All: [singing] Hit the open road and catch your ride
arms getting tan on the sunny side
John: I’m on the wheel
Martin: I’m on map
Ben: I’m on snacks
All: And Jenna’s job is to just relax
on a road trip
a great American road trip
we’re going on a road trip
we’re going on a road trip
roll down the windows–
Martin: We missed the exit.
Navigation: Recalculating route.
John: Okay, just look out for the next one. Need a little heads up?
Martin: Yeah. Okay. It’s just full hard doing music and that.
Ben: Price of being shotgun.
John: Yeah, no, no, it’s fine. Just let’s try to focus on Nav, alright?
Martin: Okay. Yeah. Focus on the Nav.
John: Yeah, thanks.
Martin: [in small voice] You’re not in charge of me.
[music playing]
All: Nod to convertibles when they pass
moon a trucker, put your cheeks on the glass
punch when you’re green, punch when you’re red
see a sign that says we’re going to hell
on a road trip
a great American roadtrip-
Ben: [to Jenna] Sorry, can we cool it with the Slurpee for a second? It’s just right in my ear.
Jenna: Oh, yeah, sorry.
Ben: It’s okay. I’m happy to buy everyone a Slurpee, but you’re just sucking on the- [Jenna doesn’t stop slurping] There’s none left.
Jenna: Okay! Can you scoot over? Your leg hair keeps pressing me.
Ben: Yeah, fine. I’ll move my leg.
Jenna: [checking her phone] Did you just Venmo request me for the Slurpee?
Ben: I don’t have any money, so.
[music playing]
All: Going on a road trip
we’re going on a road trip-
Navigation: Recalculating route.
John: We missed the god damn exit again, Martin?
Martin: I’m sorry, man. I’m getting like a ton of texts.
John: Who could you be texting that isn’t in this car right now?
Martin: It was my mom, man. My dad had a stroke.
Ben: I’m so sorry.
Martin: So yeah, [yelling] sorry I’m not focusing on the Nav.
[silence]
Martin: I don’t know why I said that. He did not have a stroke.
John: Liar.
Ben: C’mon man.
John: Everybody, we’re having quiet time. Read a book or something.
[music playing]
All: Finally time to chill, I can do what I want
Dive into the new Michelle Obama
Jenna: I’m gonna puke.
John: Do not puke in my car, dude.
Jenna: I get carsick from reading.
Margin: Exit coming up in 1.2 miles.
Jenna: Pull over right now.
Ben: Well, you shouldn’t have sucked down that Slurpee so fast.
Jenna: Shut up, Ben.
Martin: 0.3 miles.
John: Mart, that means nothing to me.
Martin: You told me to focus on the Nav.
Jenna: Oh my god, it’s happening.
Martin: No, no, no, no.
[Jenna pukes Slurpee on car window.]
John: God, we’re going home.
[singing] Late at night and I feel so free
everyone’s asleep except for me
big bright moon hanging in the sky
NAV in my lap and-
[John looks back, and then hits a guy crossing the street]
Ben: What just happened?
John: Nothing. Go back to sleep, everybody. Thanks.
[police siren]
Will you turn the AC on?
Martin: Hot or cold?
John: Both.
[The billboard with Jesus’s picture talks to John]
Jesus: I saw what you did.
All: On a road trip..