Dom… Devon Walker
Izzy… Ego Nwodim
Glen… Chloe Fineman
Rodney… Travis Kelce
Female voice: Welcome back to too hot to handle, where the actions are all the place, but the premise is simple. Abstain from physical intimacy and you’ll win 200 Gs. Can you believe Netflix has made five seasons of this?
Lana: Good evening, everyone.
No: Hi, Lana.
Lana: I introduced the ground rules of this retreat just 24 hours ago.
Dom: And we’ve been so good, Lana. Me and Izzy haven’t even done nothing.
Izzy: Even though Dom is proper fit, yeah.
Sarah: We haven’t even done hand stuff, and I always do hand stuff.
Bowen: But it’s all gonna be worth it to win this 200 grand.
Lana: Unfortunately, that won’t be happening. Last night there was a rule break costing the villa $3,000.
James: [pointing at Dom and Izzy] It was them two, wasn’t it?
Lana: Actually, it was a kiss shared between Rodney and Glen Bechamel.
Glen: Oh, sorry guys. I tried not to kiss Rodney. But then I wanted to. So I did. Guess I’m kind of wild like that.
Izzy: Wait, Rodney. You hooked up with Glenn?
Rodney: I know. We lost the prize money.
James: Yeah, that’s not why we’re shocked.
Izzy: You could have smoked anyone and you went with Glenn.
Rodney: It’s not my fault. There’s something about her. [Glen farts] Listen to her voice.
Glen: Sorry, I had to sneeze.
Lana: There was another rule break last night costing the group $20,000.
Lana: It was heavy petting in the grill area between Rodney and Glen Bechamel.
Rodney: I’m sorry. I’ve just never met anyone like Glen. She’s so unpredictable.
Glen: Rodney made ribs and I let him use my body as a napkin. It doesn’t matter. I picked 16 of these shirts. Rodney told me not to touch the grill. I did it anyway.
Izzy: Okay, maybe this is more of a question for producers but like why is Glenn even here?
Glen: Cuz I’m a horned up single like you guys. I had sex eight times, but who’s counting? Me. I always count, except calories. You are what you eat, so I guess I’m Rodney’s ass.
Rodney: I hope you guys aren’t jealous.
Bowen: No, I’m actually numb from the waist down.
Dom: Glen is so weird and old.
Glen: Actually I’m 28 and I’ve just been through hell.
Lana: Another rule break is happening now.
James: What are they even doing?
Sarah: She’s kissing his arm like she’s gnawing on corn.
Izzy: Is this even a rule break?
Lana: Technically no, but it makes me feel insane. so I’m draining the prize fund. Someone unplug me.
Glen: I guess I’m kind of wild like that.