Travis Kelce Monologue


Travis Kelce

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Travis Kelce.

[Travis Kelce walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Travis Kelce: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so very much. It’s great to be here. And if you don’t know I just won my second Super Bowl. [cheers and applause] Oh, man. Which was amazing. But for me hosting SNL is that much better to me. I’m lying to you all. I’m lying. I’m kidding. Winning the Super Bowl was way better. But seriously, seriously, I’m honored that SNL asked me to host. I was nervous about doing a monologue. But then I remembered I’m actually pretty good with words. I’m pretty good with words like during games, I do these super eloquent pump-up speeches for my teammates. Please watch.

[cut to a video where Travis Kelce is yelling “More, more, more” to his teammates.] [cut back to the stage]

And sometimes I even do it in my Pat Mahomes voice. More, more, more. Do it, Kels, do it.

Probably the coolest thing about this Super Bowl is that my whole family was there. I got to play against my brother Jason who is an eagle. And my mom was on TV more than both of us.

My mom, dad and brother are all here tonight.  [cheers and applause] You know, people keep asking me “What it was like to beat my brother in the Superbowl?” And it was pretty awkward. Especially because after the game, we had to ride home together. Our mom drove us there in her minivan. Just like the good old days. But even though his team lost after being up 10 points at half, my brother is actually really happy for me. [cut to his brother who looks very sad] And he agrees that the ref made the right call. It was a holding.

Jason and I have actually been playing football together since we were little kids, and he was always better than me at everything. In high school, he was an honors student and I got kicked off the team because I failed French, and English too. But French sounds way better. And then when we were in college, I actually got kicked off the team because I tested positive for marijuana. So it just goes to show you if you smoke weed and you’re bad at school, you can win the Super Bowl twice.

This isn’t my first time hosting a TV show. I actually had my own dating show on E called Catching Kelce. It was kind of like the Bachelor, except instead of roses I handed out footballs, and instead of watching, people did not. Which was a little embarrassing, but I have to say I got pretty good at reality TV. Like, check this one out.

[Cut to clip from the show Catching Kelce]

Right? Right? That show is owned by NBC Universal, so it should be on Peacock. But Peacock said, “No, we good.” [now his brother is laughing hard and clapping] I knew something would make him smile. But really, but really, it’s cool to be here. I grew up watching SNL with my mother. I love Ferrell, the Sandman, Chris Farley and to be standing on this stage, pretty surreal. And tonight I’m gonna give it everything I got. As wise man once said, “More, more, more and more.” We got a great show for you tonight. Kelsea Ballerini is here.

Stick around, you don’t want to miss this one.

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