Michael Che
Molly Kearney
[Starts with Michael Che in his set]Michael Che: Since the start of this year, over 400 Anti LGBTQ bills have been introduced across the country, many of which directly target trans youth. Here to talk about it as someone with their own introduction.
[rock music playing]Male voice: Introducing SNL’s first non binary cast member, it’s Molly Kearney.
Molly Kearney: Made it. Thank you Mr. Che.
Michael Che: Molly, what is all this?
Molly Kearney: Well, as you know, I’ve been wanting to come to Update and talk about trans people. But I have for a much longer time than that wanted to fly down from the ceiling.
Michael Che: And did it live up to your expectations?
Molly Kearney: Yeah, but I’m not gonna lie, this harness is pretty tight. my groin area is beef. I’ve been hung up on my genitals for far too long. And I’m starting to feel like a frickin Republican lawmaker. Hello.
Michael Che: Awesome transition. So as of this week, there are now over 14 states that have passed bills restricting health care for trans kids.
Molly Kearney: Listen to that, Michael, restricting Health Care for Kids. For some reason, there’s something about the Word ‘trans; that makes people forget the word ‘kids’. If you don’t care about trans kids lives, it means you don’t care about frickin kids lives.
Michael Che: Wow. Well. I can tell you’re really upset about that.
Molly Kearney: I am. And also my legs are going numb and I might pass out.
Michael Che: Molly, how long were you hanging up there?
Molly Kearney: Longer than I would have liked? I tried to call down but no one could hear me. You know, at one point I heard a crew guys say “Is she gonna die up there?” And then another guy was like, “You mean are they are going to die up there?” And then they looked away and didn’t help. Which feels a lot like how trans people are being treated right now. But don’t worry. We have a code word for emergencies. And it was trans rights. Gosh, good. Golly. That was the code for confetti. My Bad, bud.
Michael Che: that was so loud.
Molly Kearney: Well, yeah. People need to wake up. We’re making trans kids grow up too fast. We should be keeping them safe. And we need to lift them up. Oh, no, not me “them”. I mean, the kids. Che, they got my pronouns right. Let’s go. Wait a minute. Before I go, I want to talk to you. What’s happening kids is wrong, and you don’t need to be scared. Our job is to protect you and your job is to focus on being a kid. It’s kind of like me flying in the SNL sky. There’s a bunch of dudes asking you about your crotch and controlling what and where you’re allowed to be. But if you just hang on, you’ll look up and realize you’re flying, kid. Hey Mr. Che, am I still in the frame?
Michael Che: I mean, your feet are.
Molly Kearney: Good. Trans rocks.
Michael Che: Molly Kearney, everybody. For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.
Molly Kearney: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.