SNL Transcripts: George Carlin: 10/11/75: Jamitol


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 1

75a: George Carlin / Billy Preston, Janis Ian


Written by: Michael O’Donoghue

Man #1 … Chevy Chase
Man #2 … Michael O’Donoghue
Announcer …

[Two soft-spoken, casually-dressed men address thecamera, betraying not a trace of effeminacy. Man #1 istall. Man #2 is shorter, bespectacled and bearded.]

Man #1: This is my best friend, my business partner,my advisor, my companion, my wife. And I love her.She’s quite a gal, you know. She takes care of thehouse, cooks great meals, makes studded leather vestsat our own boutique, and still has enough energy togive me the attention I need at the end of a long day.I don’t know how you do it.

Man #2: Well, I take care of myself. I get plenty ofrest, go to the Y, eat right and, to make sure I getenough iron and vitamins, I take Jamitol every day.[puts a pipe in his mouth]

Man #1: Makes me take it, too.

[Dissolve to two packages of the product (tablet andliquid) and a large spoon.]

Announcer: Jamitol. More than twice the iron andhigh-potency vitamins found in other supplements.Tablet or liquid.

[Cut back to the two men. Man #2 takes the pipe out ofhis mouth.]

Man #1: My wife. She’s quite a gal. And I love her forit.

[The two men glance at one another matter-of-factly,as a husband and wife would, then look back at thecamera.]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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