Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 1
Written by: Michael O’Donoghue
Man #1 … Chevy Chase
Man #2 … Michael O’Donoghue
[Two soft-spoken, casually-dressed men address thecamera, betraying not a trace of effeminacy. Man #1 istall. Man #2 is shorter, bespectacled and bearded.]
Man #1: This is my best friend, my business partner,my advisor, my companion, my wife. And I love her.She’s quite a gal, you know. She takes care of thehouse, cooks great meals, makes studded leather vestsat our own boutique, and still has enough energy togive me the attention I need at the end of a long day.I don’t know how you do it.
Man #2: Well, I take care of myself. I get plenty ofrest, go to the Y, eat right and, to make sure I getenough iron and vitamins, I take Jamitol every day.[puts a pipe in his mouth]
Man #1: Makes me take it, too.
[Dissolve to two packages of the product (tablet andliquid) and a large spoon.]
Announcer: Jamitol. More than twice the iron andhigh-potency vitamins found in other supplements.Tablet or liquid.
[Cut back to the two men. Man #2 takes the pipe out ofhis mouth.]
Man #1: My wife. She’s quite a gal. And I love her forit.
[The two men glance at one another matter-of-factly,as a husband and wife would, then look back at thecamera.]