SNL Transcripts: George Carlin: 10/11/75: Triple-Trac



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 1





75a: George Carlin / Billy Preston, Janis Ian

Triple-Trac

Announcer…..Andrew Duncan
Caveman…..Al Franken

[ FADE IN on a caveman on his knees by a river ]

Announcer (V/O): In the dawn of civilization, long before the Bronze Age, man first began his search for the close shave.

[ The caveman takes a club and hits himself in the face. DISSOLVE to the announcer speaking to the camera against a black background ]

Announcer: Since then, man has been ardently striding to design the perfect shaving instrument.

[ Shots of various razors are shown ]

Announcer (V/O): From the straight razor, to the safety razor, to the injector system, amd finally the highly acclaimed twinblade cartridge.

[ The announcer picks up a twinblade and shows it to the camera ]

Announcer: Almost perfect, yet not quite the superlative groom. Introducing the Triple-Trac.

[ DISSOLVE to a close-up of the three-bladed Triple-Trac razor ]

Announcer (V/O): Not just two blades in one system, but three stainless, platinum teflex-coated blades melded together to form one incredible shaving cartridge, easily fitted into your old twinblade holder. Triple-Trac’s triple-threat cartridge, with more close shaves than ever before. Here’s how it works.

[ DISSOLVE to a cartoon showing a how the Triple-Trac shaves a whisker ]

Announcer (V/O): The first blade grabs at the whisker, tugging it away from your face to protect it from the second blade.

[ The cartoon shows how the Triple-Trac yanks painfully at the whisker ]

Announcer (V/O): Blade number two catches and digs into the stubble before it has the chance to snap back and injure you, pulling it farther out so that it is now ready for shearing.

[ The cartoon shows an even more painful whisker-yanking ]

Announcer (V/O): Triple-Trac’s third blade, a finely-honed bonded platinum instrument, cuts cleanly through the whisker at its base, leaving your face as smoothas a billiard ball.

[ Finally, the cartoon shows the Triple-Trac completely shaving the whisker ] [ DISSOLVE back to the announcer against the black background, holding up a Triple-Trac ]

Announcer: The Triple-Trac. Because you’ll believe anything.

[ FADE ]

Submmitted by: Dan Pascoe

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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