SNL Transcripts: George Carlin: 10/11/75: Wolverines



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 1






75a: George Carlin / Billy Preston, Janis Ian

Wolverines

Written by: Michael O’Donoghue

Professor…..Michael O’Donoghue
European Immigrant…..John Belushi
Stage Manager…..Chevy Chase

[ Open to a small room with two men sitting in chairs ]

Professor: Let us begin. Repeat after me.

[ European Immigrant in tight-mouthed concentration, nods ]

Professor: I would like…..

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I would like….

Professor: ….to feed your fingertips….

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent] ….to feed yur fingerteeps….

Professor: …to the wolverines.

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ….to de wolver-eenes.

Professor: Next, I am afraid….

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I em afred…

Professor: …we are out…

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …we are out…

Professor: …of badgers.

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …of badjurs.

Professor: Would you accept…

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] Would you accept…

Professor: …a wolverine…

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …a wolver-eene…

Professor: …in it’s place?

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …een es place.

Professor: Next, “Hey,” Ned exclaimed…

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] “Hey,” Ned asclaimed…

Professor: “let’s boil…

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] “let’s boil…

Professor: …the wolverines.”

European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …the wolver-eenes.”

Professor: Next…

[ The Professor suddenly gasps, clutches his chest, and falls off his chair to the floor, obviously stricken with a heart attack. The Immigrant looks puzzled for a moment, then repeats the Professors gasp, clutches his chest, and throws himself on the floor. ] [ Stage Manager enters the scene, peers at the two lifeless figures and looks into the camera and smiles. ]

Stage Manager: Live from New York.. it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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