SNL Transcripts: Paul Simon: 10/18/75: Try-Hard 1-11

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 2

75b: Paul Simon / Art Garfunkel, Randy Newman, Phoebe Snow, Jesse Dixon Singers

Try-Hard 1-11

[FADE IN on an announcer walking through a narrow grassy meadow at night. It is summer, and the trees are in leaf.]

Announcer: We’re here at International Falls, Minnesota, where we purposely left the pacemakers of these five geriatrics on all night, just to prove that the Try Hard 1-11 Battery can withstand even the most adverse conditons.

[PAN along a row of five elderly people who are standing in front of the trees. FADE to the same scene in the morning, where the five people are all standing in the same places. Two of the elderly people are leaning wearily on each other, and two others are standing up but looking very droopy. Birds are heard merrily chirping in the background.]

Announcer: The next morning, all geriatrics have trouble getting started, but not the one with the 1-11. [The white-haired gentleman in the middle, who wears a gold shirt and large, dark-rimmed glasses, looks peppy and waves jauntily to the camera.]

Announcer: The Try Hard 1-11. Picks up where your heart left off.

[FADE OUT on a closeup of the battery with a caption of the slogan. The happy geriatric is seen waving out of focus in the background.]

Submitted by: Joe Cornfield

SNL Transcripts

Notify of