SNL Transcripts: Paul Simon: 10/18/75: Up Against the Wallpaper

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 2

75b: Paul Simon / Art Garfunkel, Randy Newman, Phoebe Snow, Jesse Dixon Singers

Up Against the Wallpaper

Written by: Michael O’Donoghue

… Jerry Rubin

[We hear Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind” as abearded Jerry Rubin steps in front of a wall coveredwith grafitti-patterned wallpaper and addresses thecamera.]

Jerry Rubin: The 1960s, a time of change, a time ofsharing, a time of growth. Hi, I’m former Yippieleader Jerry Rubin and I lived those years with you,burning draft cards, liberating the administrationbuilding, and, of course, scrawling revolutionaryslogans on the walls in spray paint. Now, the BerkeleyCollection has captured those colorful years, and thegrafitti that tells it like it was, on thesepre-trimmed, pre-pasted rolls of durabledecorator-approved wallpaper, perfect for your den orrecreation area. Join me in a protest march downMemory Lane with the pattern we call “The Dissident.”

[Rubin unrolls some wallpaper as we hear a protestchant (“The streets belong to the people! Smash thestate!” etc.) and dissolve to an image of the pattern:yellow grafitti on a red brick wall. Panning down, weread such slogans as: AVENGE ATTICA; SMASH THE STATE;Property is Theft; Hands Off Tim Leary; The streetsbelong to the people; WHITE PANTHERS; BRING THE BOYSHOME! (with BOYS crossed out and replaced by WAR);VIVA LA HUELGA!; BLACK POWER; BURN BABY BURN; STOP THETRIAL!; LEGALIZE ABORTION; Rome wasn’t destroyed in aday; S.D.S.; ON TO CHICAGO; OFF THE PIG!; STRIKE!;SUPPORT THE NLF; THE-RIGHT-TOO-BEAR-ARMS; DAYS OF RAGEOct 8-11; DEATH TO U.S. IMPERIALIST WARMONGERS, etc.Then, we dissolve back to Jerry Rubin.]

Jerry Rubin: Too heavy for you? I understand. Perhaps”The Peacemaker” is more your bag.

[Rubin unrolls another, mellower pattern of wallpaperas we hear people singing John Lennon’s “Give Peace aChance” and dissolve to an image of the pattern:orange paint on a green background. Panning down, weread such slogans as: Stop the Bombing; SNOOPY FORPRESIDENT; Stamp Out Pollution!; THE MAN CAN’T BUSTOUR MUSIC; BOYCOTT LETTUCE; HELL NO, WE WON’T GO; BURNPOT, NOT PEOPLE; FLOWER POWER; END THE WAR; RIGHT ON!;GIRLS SAY YES TO BOYS WHO SAY NO; POWER TO THE PEOPLE;VOTE WITH YOUR FEET; PEACE; GET OUT OF VIETNAM!; FRODOLIVES; DO YOUR OWN THING; change it or lose it; SPEEDKILLS; HELL, NO, WE WON’T GO!; IRISH POWER; TODAY ISTHE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE; DRAFT BEER,NOT STUDENTS; VOTE FOR PEACE; SOCK IT TO ME!; PEANUTBUTTER IS BETTER THAN POT; MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR; GIVEPEACE A CHANCE, etc. Then, we dissolve back to JerryRubin.]

Jerry Rubin: But no matter where your head is at,being free turns everyone on, right? That’s why wechose this fit-any-mood freedom motif for our bordersand trim. We call it “The Digger.”

[Rubin unrolls another, still mellower pattern ofwallpaper as we hear an instrumental version “BornFree” and dissolve to an image of the pattern: puce ona pink background. Panning across, we read suchslogans as: free Huey!; FREE FORT DIX 38; FREE ERIKAHUGGINS; FREE THE CATONSVILLE 9; FREE JOHN SINCLAIR;FREE THE BOSTON FIVE; free the seattle 7!; FREE DavidHilliard; FREE THE PANTHERS!; FREE BOBBY SEALE; FREELOVE; FREE ANGELA DAVIS; FREE THE MC 9; free themilwaukee 14; FREE THE CHICAGO 8 (with 8 crossed outand replaced by 7); FREE THE SEATTLE SEVEN, etc.

[Abruptly, some yellow paint splatters across the image.]

Jerry Rubin: Oops! No hassle! [A hand, clutching awhite rag reaches in and wipes off the mess easily.]This wallpaper is vinyl-acrylic-coated to make itscuff and stain resistant. Wipes clean with a dampcloth. [Dissolve back to Jerry Rubin] Isn’t this outof sight? So take it from me, Jerry Rubin, when I say,[raises his fist in a power salute] “Up against thewallpaper, [bleep]!”

Female Announcer: The Berkeley Collection by Chemstro.

Submitted Anonymously

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