Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 3
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:A Film By:Cameos:Bit Players:
October 25th, 1975
Rob Reiner
None
Penny Marshall
Andy Kaufman
The Lockers
The Muppets
Mark Hampton
Denny Dillon
Albert Brooks
None
Jacqueline Carlin
Anne Beatts
Tom Davis
Al Franken
Neil Levy
Tom Schiller
Alan Zweibel
Season 1: Order Now!
The Wheelchair
Summary: An injured Mr. Featherstone (Chevy Chase) regains his ability to walk, then falls out of his wheelchair.
Transcript
Montage
Rob Reiner’s Monologue
Summary: Rob Reiner portrays a smarmy lounge singer.
Bio: Rob Reiner (1947-). Actor; son of writer/comedian Carl Reiner; played liberal-minded Michael “Meathead” Stivic opposite Carroll O’Connor in TV’s “All In The Family”, 1971-78; often collaborates on projects with longtime friend, Billy Crystal; directed films include: “This is Spinal Tap” (1984), “Stand By Me” (1986), “When Harry Met Sally…” (1989); married to actor/director Penny Marshall, 1971-81.
Pancreas
Summary: Man (John Belushi) learns his pancreas is on the fritz.
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Fashion Show
Summary: Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall host a showing of fashion mistakes.
Bio: Penny Marshall (1942-). Actress/director; sister of TV producer Garry Marshall; played Oscar Madison’s secretary on “The Odd Couple”, 1971-75; co-starred with Cindy Williams in “Laverne & Shirley”, 1976-83; directed films include: “Big” (1988), “A League of Their Own” (1992); married to actor/director Rob Reiner, 1971-81.
Cameos: 96i.
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Golden Needles
Summary: Spokesman (George Coe) pitches surgery-free healing that involves voodoo acupuncture.
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Andy Kaufman
Summary: Andy Kaufman lip-syncs “Pop Goes The Weasel.”
Dangerous But Inept
Summary: Squeaky Fromme (Laraine Newman) tries to shoot Jane Curtin during interview.
Recurring Characters: Squeaky Fromme.
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Felina Cat Food
Summary: Test proves it’s different than regular tuna.
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The Lockers
Summary: The Lockers dance around Studio 8H.
Bio: Organized by Don Campbell, The Lockers consisted of Fred “Penguin” Berry (later of “What’s Happening!”), Bill “Slim the Robot” Washington, Leo “Fluky Luke” Williamson, Greg “Campbellock, Jr.” Pope, choreographer Toni Basil (“Easy Rider”) and Adolfo “Shabba-Doo” Quinones. The gimmick of their dance moves involved locking their bodies in comical poses during their performances.
Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Kidnappers use Don Pardo to voice their demands from the Blaine Hotel. Garrett Morris, headmaster of the School for the Hard of Hearing, repeats the top story for the hard-of-hearing.
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Wrigley’s Gum
Summary: At a funeral, a priest (Tom Schiller) lets the deceased take the gum with him.
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Joe Cocker
Summary: Joe Cocker (John Belushi) makes a surprise appearance to perform an extra spastic version of “With A Little Help From My Friends.”
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Droolers Anti-Defamation League
Summary: Chevy Chase promotes awareness.
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Middle-American Van Lines
Summary: Used to move people, not their possessions.
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Hoe-Down
Summary: A sadistic hoe-down caller (Dan Aykroyd) torments square dancersith his calls.
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The Muppets
Summary: Ploobis discovers his son Wisss has been smoking craters.
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Talent Night
Summary: Mark Hampton & Denny Dillon as nuns emceeing talent night for their parish.
Note: Denny Dillon will later be a cast member during SNL’s ill-fated 1980-81 season.
What Gilda Ate
Summary: Gilda Radner tells the audience everything she ate that day.
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“Operation”
Summary: Albert Brooks film shows a heart surgery.
Note: Albert Brooks is a good friend of Rob Reiner’s, who helped rally in favor of airing Brooks’ short film on tonight’s episode. At thirteen minutes, the film had to be interrupted midway for a commercial break.
The Bees
Summary: The Bees ruin Rob Reiner’s chance to do a dramatic scene with Penny Marshall.
Recurring Characters: Bees.
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