Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 3
Middle American Van Lines
Announcer: You’re moving. Saying godbye to old friends. Looking forward to making new ones.[ Housewife sentmimentally rubs her hand on a curio cabinet ]
Announcer: It’s not always easy to leave a place you love. We understand. That’s why we take good care of the things you care for most.[ Mover enters room, where a man sits in a rocking chair. The mover carefully picks the man up and carries him across the room and to the front door. ]
Announcer: At Middle American Van Lines, we believe in doing things right.
Announcer: We treat everything that belongs to you, just as though it belonged to us.[ another pair of movers carry a second down the stairs ]
Announcer: We give your most prized possessions the attention they deserve.[ Mover throws a dropcloth over the Housewife, then carries her out of the room ] [ cut to the action at the van – family members propped up against the side of the van, as the movers place them inside one at a time ]
Announcer: And we make sure your entire household reaches its destination in one piece.
Announcer: At Middle American Van Lines, we don’t move furniture —[ close-up of sidewalk – a teddy bear that was left behind ]
Announcer: — we move people.[ fade ]