SNL Transcripts: Rob Reiner: 10/25/75: What Gilda Ate

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3



75c: Rob Reiner

What Gilda Ate

…..Rob Reiner
…..Gilda Radner

Rob Reiner: And now, a new feature on “Saturday Night”, “What Gilda Ate. Gilda?

Gilda Radner: Thanks, Rob. Okay, I started the day with one piece of dry toast and two egg whites scrambled in a no-stick Teflon pan; and then I had a little piece of chicken from some leftover Chinese food that I had in the refrigerator, and one breaded sweet-and-sour shrimp, but I picked all the breading off. And then, at lunch, I had a half of a club sandwich, but I took out the middle piece of bread and I left the crust, but I traded the other half for a half of Western omelette with cheese; and then I finished before everyone else, so I had a roll with butter and three french fries off of somebody else’s plate, and a Tab. But I didn’t order dessert. But on the way back to the office, I had a Fig Newton and an Almond Joy candy bar. And then, when I got back to the office, I told everyone I was going to the bathroom, but I really went to a coffee shop and had Apple Pie a la Mode, and I ate the whole thing. And on the way back up, in the elevator, I found a Milk Dud covered in tobacco at the bottom of my pure, and I ate it. And, then on the way back to work, I went to the drugstore and bought an M&M Peanut Munch Bar..

Rob Reiner: [ finally interrupts ] Thank you very much, Gilda, that’s enough!

Gilda Radner: But I’m not finished yet..

Rob Reiner: I know, but we have to go on with the show, I’m sorry.

Gilda Radner: Oh.. [ shrugs ] I’ll just go get a snack.. [ exits stage ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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