Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 3
The Wheelchair
Nurse…..Jane Curtin
Mr. Featherstone…..Chevy Chase
[ open on Nurse wheeling Mr. Featherstone into a lightly decorated room ]
Nurse: I’ll check in on you later, Mr. Featherstone. [ she exits ]
Mr. Featherstone: Thank you, Karen.
[ Mr. Featherstone places a cigarette in his mouth, then reaches for his lighter, which accidentally drops and bounces across the floor. He looks around for his nurse, with hopes of retrieving his lighter, but she’s nowhere to be found. With no other recourse, Mr. Featherstone rises from his wheelchair, walks across the floor, picks up his lighter, then casually returns to his position in his wheelchair. ]
[ Mr. Featherstone lights his cigarette, then suddenly realizes that he just walked. Confused, yet curious, he decides to try his luck again and tosses the lighter across the floor. Mr. Featherstone then steps out of his wheelchair and promptly falls flat on his face. ]
Mr. Featherstone: [ looks up at the camera and yells: ] “Live, from New York, it’s “Saturday Night!”
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