Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 5
[ open on Husband and Wife standing side-by-side, the exhausted Wife’s weight obviously being supported by her overzealous Husband as he speaks ]
Husband: My wife’s really something else. She got up early, cooked a great breakfast, took the kids to school, came home, made another great breakfast for me, vacuumed the house all morning, fixed the storm doors and changed the master cylinder on the Firebird, shopped for food, picked the kids up, cooked agreat dinner, and even had time for a PTA meeting, my great alcohol rubdown, and a nightcap. And look at her – she looks better than any of her friends.
Wife: I’m cleaning my oven —
Husband: And look at her – she looks better than any of her friends.
Wife: Well, I take care of myself.. get —
Husband: Gets plenty of rest, does her sit-ups, and, to make sure she gets enough iron and vitamins, she takes Jamitol every day. Makes me take it, too.[ Wife slowly slides out from under husband’s arms, and drops to the floor ] [ dissolve to product card: bottle of Jamitol liquid, capsule of Jamitol tablets, and a spoon ]
Announcer: Jamitol. More than twice the iron and high potency vitamins founs in other supplements – tablet or liquid.[ dissolve back to Husband, now standing alone ]
Husband: My wife. I think I’ll stuff her.[ fade ]