SNL Transcripts: Lily Tomlin: 11/22/75: Edith Ann Film


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 6

75f: Lily Tomlin

Edith Ann Film

Edith Ann…..Lily Tomlin

[ begin “Edith Ann” film, showing tiny Edith Ann tying her ice skates from atop a giant bench inside the ice skating rink; she is dressed in a bundle of warm winter clothing. ]

Edith Ann V/O: Hello. My name is Edith Ann, and I’m five-and-a-half years old. Mama says you got to bundle up, so you do not catch a common cold. I have two-and-a-half pairs of socks on; my right foot is colder than my left.

[ Edith Ann clims down the bench, flailing her arms wildly ]

There I go. It’s okay, I’m just flexing. Ice skating is not so difficult. It’s just like roller skating. Ice skating is like making angels in the snow, only standing up.

[ camera pans out, revealing Edith Ann’s dog sitting still behind the bench ]

That’s Buster. He’s not allowed on the ice, so I pasted his paws to the floor. One time, he went skating wih me, and he turned his ankle; I had to bring him home in a shopping bag.

[ Edith Ann begins to skate on the ice, though at an extremely slow, awkward pace ]

You need very strong ankles to ice skate. I must do some ankle exercises. [ falls down; camera loops it three times ] Hey.. hey! It doesn’t really hurt when I fall down, ’cause I put some pot holders in my pants. And, anyways, I meant to do that – and that’s the truth. [ blows a raspberry ] [ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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