SNL Transcripts: Richard Pryor: 12/13/75: Exorcist II



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 7









75g: Richard Pryor / Gil Scott-Heron

Exorcist II

Written by: Michael O’Donoghue

Father Merrin…..Thalmus Rusalala
Father Karras…..Richard Pryor
Regan…..Laraine Newman

[ Father Merrin and Father Karras enter Regan’s room and find her lying on her bed, possessed with evil spirits ]

Father Merrin: We have nothing to worry about.

Father Karras: [ trying to convince himself ] Nothing to worry about.

Father Merrin: Let’s talk to the child.

Father Karras: Yes, let’s talk to the child.

[ Father Merrin leans against Regan, who breathes heavily onto him, sending both priests reeling back ]

Father Merrin: You mustn’t listen to anything she has to say.

Father Karras: [ scared ] I’m not listening!

Regan: [ menacing ] You’re a liar, and a cheater, and a child molester! You french-kiss your dog in the mouth![ the bed starts to rise ]

Father Merrin: Stop the bed!

Father Karras: [ repeating ] Stop the bed!

Father Merrin: The bed.. must be.. on the floor!

Father Karras: The bed.. must be.. on the floor!

Father Merrin: The bed.. must be.. on the floor!

Father Karras: The bed.. must be.. on the floor!

Father Merrin: The bed.. must be.. on the floor!

[ bed lands on top of Father Karras’ foor ]

Father Karras: [ screaming in agony ] The bed.. is on.. my foot! The bed.. is on.. my foot! The bed.. is on.. my foot..! Oh, Father, the bed.. is on.. my foot!

Father Merrin: [ getting weak, stops exorcising ] You must continue, Father. I must rest.. [ exits bedroom ]

Father Karras: [ on floor in pain ] You must rest?! The bed.. is on.. my foot!

Regan: [ parting from trance ] Oh, Father Karras, I’m ever so hungry. Couldn’t you give me some pea soup? It’s right over there.

Father Karras: [ still in pain ] The bed.. is on.. my foot!

Regan: Oh, jeepers, I’m sorry.. [ makes bed lift off of Father Karras’ foot ]

Father Karras: Oh, thank you, little girl.. [ relieved ] You’re such a nice little girl, I knew it all the time. Here’s your pea soup. [ hands her the soup ] Maybe now we can be friends? What do you say? [ Regan tosses the soup in his face ]

Regan: [ menacing ] Suck-er!

Father Karras: [ stunned ]

Regan: Oh, Father Karras, I’m ever so sorry. Let’s make up. [ reaches for vase on the nightstand ] Here, have a flower. [ holds flower to him ]

Father Karras: Oh, what a sweet gesture. You’re a sweet little girl. [ Regan smashes the vase over his head ]

Regan: [ meanacing ] Jive tur-key!

Father Karras: [ to himself ] I have faith. I have faith. [ turns to Regan ] You’re such a little girl..

Regan: [ menacing ] Your mother eats kitty litter!

Father Karras: [ not sure he heard what he heard ] Say what?

Regan: [ menacing ] Your mama eats kitty litter!

Father Karras: [ lunges for Regan’s throat ] Hey, nobody talks about my Mama! [ chokes Regan ]

Father Merrin: [ rushing in ] Father! What are you doing? She’s just an innocent little girl!

Father Karras: She’s talking about my Mama!

Regan: [ waking up ] Oh, Father! Thank goodness you’re here! He was hurting me!

Father Merrin: [ comforting ] Yes.

Father Karras: [ upset ] I’m gonna kill you, if you say anything about my Mama!

Father Merrin: She’s just an innocent child.

Regan: [ menacing ] Your mama sews socks that smell!

Father Merrin: Uh, what did you say, little girl?

Regan: [ menacing ] Your mama sews socks.. that smell!

[ Father Merrin immediate chokes Regan’s throat ]

Father Karras: [ grabbing Father Merrin’s shoulders ] Father, Father, Father, please! Let me help you!

[ Father Merrin and Father Karras both choke Regan as the scene ends ] [ pull back to studio wide shot, with SUPER: “Coming Up Next… Loungewear For The Dead” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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